Hi again. I finally got my internet up and running today. So voila! I am back.
Yes, we have moved to a new location and it is definitely different. It’s very quiet during the day.
A part of me just wants to go for walks and explore, while the other part of me is like; No, there’s too much work here that needs to be done. We are still unpacking.
However, it took 2 days to move all our stuff here. Thank you to Brawny Movers for helping us out with getting the big bulky stuff moved. My partner did the rest, and even in the rain. He got soaked.
Speaking of rain, we went to a wedding last Friday. It was a lovely wedding at Bellameres Winery, and I’m sure the big thunderstorm we got made it that much more memorable.
My partners best friend of 20 years was the one that got married. So congrats to him and his now wife. Also, I am glad the bride liked my painting. I had given one as a wedding gift. So yaaaay! Now I have art in Barrie, Ontario!
I feel kinda bad that these last two visits with my eldest daughter weren’t all fun and all. I mean, at the old address we were packing. And here, now we’re unpacking. Not that fun. But at least she got to work on her room, putting things where she’d like them to be. She gets more control and say of how she wants her new room to be like.
I did get a bit upset last weekend. Especially after my eldest daughter said that she wants to live with her father. So that makes both my son and eldest daughter that want to be in the care of their father instead. It was a bit heart breaking, especially after all this time that I’ve been trying to bring them home. I started to think things like; why did I even bother to fight so hard all these years? And getting this new place? What was the point? However, my partner chilled me out. He said no matter what, we got a safe place to live now, and it’s safe for our baby. So all this effort wasn’t a complete waste. He’s right. No matter how things turn out in court, we still have our baby and can make a good life for her.
As for court, I got a call on last Wednesday from my lawyers secretary. She told me that I didn’t have to attend court on the 11th. It will just be adjourned due to the fact that my eldest children still need lawyers of thier own. So yeah, the next court date won’t be until some time in October. It’s a bit frustrating having to wait longer, but I understand. Both my eldest children are old enough to speak for themselves and make thier own decision.
I guess I’m still going to try, even though I know neither of my children want to be here. Perhaps they’re used to the lives they had. Living in poverty, in a ghetto, with a father that sees them more as a paycheck then anything. Otherwise he would have taken better care of them, and valued our sons education, rather than being the barrier that holds him back. Sigh…
Anyways, whatever happens, happens. In the mean time I will try my best to make this home a positive and safe place for my baby, and try to make the best of the visitations I get with my eldest daughter. I’m lucky my visits are overnight on weekends. There was a time where I was in my eldest children’s father’s position, and was only granted an hour per week. The tables have turned.
I told my partner a while back that I had stopped believing in karma. But here it is. With all this stuff going on between my ex and C.A.S. The truth is finally being seen. It only took 5 years. I guess karma has no schedule, or doesn’t run on a timer. It goes at it’s own pace. It could happen today, tomorrow, or for this instance; 5 years later.
An anonymous contact is worried that it may be too late for my son. But my partner is pretty optimistic. He says there’s always hope. It’s never too late to change your mind, behavior, attitude, and actions. So yeah, let’s hope whatever happens, that his future can still be bright. That he can still learn to function in this crazy system we call society.It’s something we all must learn in order to survive a Capitalists world.
I understand now when people say, conform partially. In order to have a family, you must play by thier rules.
However, that doesn’t mean we can’t teach our children how to survive in nature, to garden, to hunt, to build and create. We can still inspire thier imaginations. Even though many institutions limit the use of the imagination, instead we get told what to think. So yeah, a strong imagination is crucial if we ever want to drift away from this prison we built for ourselves that we call Capitalism.
But yeah, enough of that. On to other things such as…my baby is 4 months old and fits 12 month old clothing!! Can you believe that?! My cute bundle of pudge is growing like a magic bean stalk. It’s astounding.
Oh yeah, we got a call from my partners mom. She said they will try to come visit our new place before winter. That’s exciting. If they make it on a weekend, my eldest daughter will be happy to see her Step Aunt. She keeps asking about her, and asking me when is the next time we will go to Oshawa. Lol So yeah, hope they can make it.
The last time that side of the family saw my partner and I’s baby, she was just a week old. Just wait until they see her now. Hehe! She’s developing quite the personality.
Newho, I should probably go to bed. My partner and my baby went to bed early tonight, so yeah. I am the only one still up. I should probably get some rest. It will be another busy day of bouncing back and forth from unpacking/ organizing and tending to my baby tomorrow. Thanks for your patience on my return, and thanks for reading. Peace and love – Pooks
“Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.” – Lewis Carroll