A moment to think

Well I’m just going to blog in the moments I can. Putting that saving drafts thing to use. Haha!

I didn’t get to share too much in the last blog. But yeah, this mama is gets pretty exhausted by the end of the day. So maybe I’ll just write in the moments available during the day. 

I forgot to mention that I donated 2 huge bags of clothes that no longer fit me to The Ark. No point hoarding them, and mentally torturing myself waiting for the day I can fit them again, when someone in need could use them now. I mean, as I gradually lose weight, I can thrift shop  and rebuild my wardrobe slowly. 

Yes, that donation included my 3 sets of jester pants. I loved those. But now someone else can love them too. When the time comes, maybe I can get myself a new pair. But for now…there is no point wearing nice fancy stuff when I get spit up on on regular basis. Lol I’m fine with baggy t-shirts, and joggers. 

Umm… what else? Been doing a lot of reusing lately, rather than shopping for things brand new. I mean we got a couch set from a university student. We traded my baby’s bouncy chair for a futon. We bought a baby Bumbo chair off someone for $5. So yeah, a lot of our stuff in our new home is second hand, but it’s all coming together nicely. 

It’s like that saying, One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Rather than letting things go to waste, and be thrown in a landfill, we are reusing items that are still in good condition. 

Umm… I told the facilitator of the New School of Colour that I will try to make it there once a month. It would be pricey on bus tickets if I were to go as regularly as I used to. Plus it would be nice to catch up with muh fellow artists. I plan to bring my baby with me. She can be the youngest artist there. 

I know my man is a bit uncomfortable with me going back, because there were men there that were interested in me. Heck, technically the current facilitator is an ex. But my partner doesn’t have to worry. I’m with him, and him alone. Besides, it’s mostly elders that attend. A lot of the people that used to attend don’t anymore, not since the former facilitator resigned. 

I won’t be giving out the exact date when I do decide to go. I have an online stalker that simultaneously shows up when I say I want to go there. That should be a hint that I am not interested in being thier friend anymore. Especially not after they harassed my boyfriend on Facebook with a gazillion messages when they couldn’t get a hold of me. Not to mention posting a blog and name dropping my man’s name, my baby’s name, and my photo. Yeah, it may have been deleted. But it showed me that they haven’t changed. They are still very immature. Not exactly the kind of person I want around my family. Just saying. 

Also bringing up the fact that I was thinking of aborting my daughter and rubbing that in my face?? Any woman who has only known a man for a month and gets pregnant would think about that option. Point is, I didn’t abort my child, did I? And I am grateful that I didn’t and that this relationship is still going strong. My partner and I are making it work. 

But yeah, She may be bitter about my decision to cut her out. But that’s just it. She’s negative and bitter. At Up with Art, she was possesive and rude. I tried to catch up with other New School of Colour Artists, and she rushed me right past them. Not to mention she was bitchin  about the event the whole time. Like seriously, if you do not agree with what they’re doing, don’t get involved. I however think Up with Art is a great event. It helps an organization help those in need, and it supports amateur artists by getting thier work out there beside professional artists. I find it to be an inclusive, diverse event. 

Also, when my daughter was born, she showed up uninvited. I mean, yeah, the facilitator of the New School of Colour had also asked me to send him a text when I go into labour. I did. Just as I sent her a text. Did he invite himself to the hospital?? No!! The only people I had intended to be there for the birth of my baby was my partner, my doctor, my doula, and the nurse. She wasn’t in my written plan. So yeah, that was a bit disturbing. Why the doctors let her in beats the hell out of me!

But yeah, that explains that. Enough about her, as she is no longer a part of my life. Onto other things…

I appreciate the encouraging words and support from The Ark. They miss me, and they advise me to keep doing my art. I will. I’ll find a way. 

I just read thier current newsletter, and saw a picture from the OEV Block party. It was nice to see my art displayed on the New School of Colour table despite my absence. Thank you. Glad that I am still considered a part of the New School of Colour.

Umm.. what else? It sounds like my son has stopped going to the visits with his father as well. The foster family my daughter is staying at currently gave me a phone number to call him at. However, I have been afraid to call. I mean, after going to Vanier in person to visit, and having him reject me… Maybe it’s best to just give him his space. He’s got a lot to think about, along with a huge decision to make when the time comes.

I do think about him regularly. I miss him, and I hope he’s okay at Vanier. C.A.S visits on September 2nd, and they said they would update me on his progress at Vanier. But just as my partners mother says, think positive. They’re there to help him. 

Anyways, I have someone coming by to pick up boxes, and another to drop off a vaccuum. This new place is carpeted, so yeah, kinda need that to keep this place tidy. I still need to find either a carpet cleaner, or a steam cleaner that works on carpets.I’m sure one will pop up eventually. 

But yeah, I should get going. Thanks for reading! Until next time, peace and love! – Pooks 

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