Let go

Hi again!

I know I have not written in awhile. Things just have been kinda crazy lately. 

I mean, yeah, with the passing of my foster dad, that did put things on hold. But in a way, it was a positive. It reconnected me with family members that I had shut out. I honestly thought that it would be that way for the rest of my life, but the pastor at my foster dad’s funeral, and just that whole experience. Not being able to say goodbye. Perhaps it was a slap of reality. Yeah, they weren’t perfect. They made mistakes. But “remember the good things“. And maybe I am tired of holding onto negative emotions. Just let bygones be bygones. Whatever happened, happened. This is now. It can be different. Plus, when it comes to my foster mom, just because she made mistakes with me as a mother, doesn’t mean she can’t be an amazing grandmother to my children. Point is, I don’t think she deserves to be punished for the rest of her life. 

So yeah, this funeral was very symbolic to me. About letting things go. Not only was I letting go of the life of my foster dad, but I was letting go of the past as well.I don’t want the same to happen with my remaining foster relatives, not being able to say goodbye. They won’t be here forever. So yeah, I am glad my own little family was welcomed despite my absence over the years. 

Anyways, my foster dad wasn’t a horrible person or father. He was well liked up north. I remember him being cheery. He was kind of like John Candy. He loved his music, and because of him I got to travel all over Canada, and to Florida. Because of him, he got me into Fanshawe College years ago. So I am grateful for all he’s done. Including his honesty. He did say he didn’t love us girls like his own, but he wouldn’t want to see us get hurt. So he did care in a way. Not only that, but he did apologize to me for not doing anything while I was being abused. So yeah, I imagine that took a lot of balls to say to me, and I am glad he was able to while he was alive. I’m not angry, and I don’t hate him. If anything, I am grateful for his life, and his passing. His death brought family together, and now my own family has an extended amount of support. Miigwech.

Umm… I know I said I would try to go to the New School of Colour once a month, but the week my foster dad passed, was when I going to, and didn’t. I was a bit emotionally distraught. Ya know? Hearing my foster dad was in the hospital, alive but not doing so great to hours later, hearing that he died. 

Not only that, it wouldn’t be safe for my baby and I hanging around an area where my partners ex lives. She’s not too happy that I confronted her about hitting on my partner. 

It’s probably not a good idea considering she has a record of 5 counts of assault. That and her boyfriend was threatening to hurt my partner, so yeah, violent people. Best to stay clear, especially with my baby.

Anyways, speaking of haters… someone this week tried to hack and take over my FB account. Smh. Get a life of your own. If you’re blocked? I probably have a good reason for it. Lol Some people. Geez. 

What else? When it comes to Scentsy, I am not doing so great. For an introvert, a job like this is very uncomfortable. I was to have a launch party in my home, but yeah. Just the thought of that is nerve wrecking. So my sponsor suggested an Open House. That could work better for me because people can come and go between certain hours and it’s more one on one interaction as opposed to an audience. So yeah… see how that goes.

I admit I am still iffy about Scentsy. I mean, I went to a meeting and the words that kept getting repeated was “I bought”. Consultants seem to do a lot of buying, yet speak very little about getting paid. So yeah, I find that very questionable. 

However, I am going to stick with it. Perhaps getting me out of my comfort zone could be a good thing. It could be a slow, bumpy beginning, but maybe I just have to give it a chance. 

I just have to remember why I took on this job; to help my partner make ends meet financially. Bills, debts, etc.

Deep breath…I can do this…

What else? My baby got her 6 month shots. She weighs 20lbs and 6ozs. She’s a big girl. I’m so proud of my Cute Bundle of Pudge. 

We missed a day of Beginning with Babies, but made it the following week for the last half hour. My baby really enjoys herself there. So yeah, I will continue the effort to go. 

My eldest daughter is starting to make friends with other children in the neighborhood. So I am proud of her. She’s more social than mommy. Haha!

However I did have an interesting discussion about art and sales with an artist that had a booth set up outside of the Normal School for Culture Days. I appreciate the tips. Maybe those tips will come in handy in the future when I have time to do art. Probably not until my little one is in daycare or school. 

Anyways, I noticed that The Root Cellar is doing a Call for Artists, so that could be a future possibility too. 

I did however register to be in the Twitter Art Exhibit again. This time it will be I’m the U.K fundraising for Molly Ollys. I’m pretty sure I can whip something up for that. I mean, donate art that is the size of a post card? Yeah, I can do that. Something small for a good cause. I can’t wait to see how many artists participate for the 2017 exhibit. 

Anyways, lots have been happening. We’ve gotten suprise visits from family, reconnected with family, and we might be seeing my partners mom soon as well. So yeah, busy busy. Thanks for reading! Peace and love – Pooks

“Pain will leave you, when you let go”

– Jeremy Aldana

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