I’ll Be Able To

Hi again!

I’m not sure if it’s been a week or not. Time is a blur lately.

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and this year we were invited to my partners fathers place. So thanks to my partners father and his wife for hosting a wonderful family gathering. It was great to see all the children there. They really brought the event to life! Lol

Anyways, my partners eldest sister did approach me, and said she didn’t know who my baby resembled more of. Note, I did not forget what my partner said that she said to him in the past. Ahem, “What are you doing?! She doesn’t even look like you!” Anyways, back to the present, I responded with that my biological Aunt says our baby looks just like me when I was a baby. And my partner has had friends say that she looks like him. So she said, maybe our babies eyes are like her brothers.

But let me just get my thoughts out there. Umm… Just because a baby looks like one parent more so than the other, it does not make the mother a whore. Maybe my genes are just more dominate than whom I had shared intimacy with. All my children look more like me. Even my eldest childrens father accused me of being a whore in the past. He didn’t believe his son was his. My point being, considering this is a well educated person (my partners sister), you’d think she’d know this. I have no control over the appearance of my children. It’s all genes, and DNA. If she’s so concerned, she can be the one to pay for a DNA test. It is not fair to a parent, to get absurd accusations just because their baby looks more like one parent over the other. So yeah, I may have acted civil in person, but personally, I think she’s a bitch jumping to conclusions like that. Enough said.

During my last C.A.S visit, the worker said after seeing me with my daughters; “You can tell you’re all related together like that.” So yeah, I’m a proud mama, passing on the King genes.

Anyways, I had my Scentsy Launch Party…which was more of an Open House where people are welcome to come between certain hours. It was a flop. Only 2 people attended. My foster mom, and a friend of hers. However, the only people that made orders were my mom, and my partner. It’s a bit frustrating and discouraging considering the amount of work I put into the invitations. The invitations were hand painted, hand printed, and I even made my own envelopes out of product sheets. All together, that was 32 invitations. Plus a sign that I made to put out front of my home. Still, not one person showed up. I put all that work in for nothing. So needless to say, I am very disappointed in the people within this neighborhood.

On a positive note, I’m just going to brush that off and try again. My Open house has been extended for the next 2 weeks. So people can drop in, check out and learn all about Scentsy.
Court was today, but I didn’t make it today. My lawyers secretary did call me, and I told her that my lawyer needs to contact the C.A.S worker regarding her plans. She wants to open a new case to ask the judge to have my eldest daughter to live with my partner and I. But that can’t happen until my Band gets served, and my partner gets his criminal record check in the mail. Once we have those documents, and Pikangikum is served for some odd reason, we can move ahead. So yeah, I believe todays court session was adjourned anyways, my ex really isn’t that involved. He’s more concerned about suing C.A.S, St. Francis Catholic School, and Wilton Grove Public School to prove himself right. He seems to be more concerned about himself, then the wellbeing and whereabouts of our children. I mean, just last weekend, my eldest daughter was crying because my ex hasn’t even been coming to the visits for months. Its heart breaking to see her cry, and not really be able to do anything to make it right. If he really gave a fuck, he’d show up to court, and he’d make it to ALL the visits. I remember when my visits were supervised, and I would run to get there if I had to. Just so my children wouldn’t ever think I didn’t care. So yeah, I’m not too happy with the ex for that reason. Our eldest daughter is already going through a lot, and she doesn’t need his bullshit on top of it.

Speaking of my ex. I got an email from CAS asking if it would be okay to drop off my eldest daughter at Vanier to visit her dad and her brother on Saturdays at Noon to 1pm. It’s not really fair that it cuts into my visitation hours, just because my ex was too lazy to go to the C.A.S building. But I agreed I would.

My partner feels that my ex should have to prove himself that he wants to be a father. Because lately, my partner has been more of a father to my eldest daughter than my ex has been. And she’s not even biologically his. So yeah, I understand his anger and frustration towards my ex. He feels that my ex doesn’t deserve that hour visit. Not after missing multiple visits. But unfortunately, my partner gets no say. It sounds like C.A.S sympathized with my ex, and he gets his visits regardless. All I’m saying is he better show up. My eldest daughter doesn’t deserve to be hurt emotionally again, and again, and again. However, she did say she looks forward to seeing her brother more so than her father. That says a lot.

I got an email yesterday or the day before, and I am to meet with my son and his psychologist to discuss their progress at Vanier. I am happy I finally get to see my son. I haven’t seen him since before my baby was born. But my partner says to be prepared for an emotional rollercoaster ride. Who knows what my son could be saying. So my partner has agreed to take the day off work to look after our baby, while I attend this meeting. Thing is, I still haven’t heard back from this psychologist to book an appointment. Ya know? I did leave a voice mail.

Other than that…Oooh! I was given an art opportunity. My Scentsy Sponsor said if I can get a painting done, it can be the door prize for her Fundraiser regarding Cancer. She’s a cancer survivor. So yeah, that’s pretty cool. I can still get my art out there through fundraisers! I am grateful for the offer, and hope I can create something amazing for her fundraising event. Especially after losing a friend to cancer that I couldn’t bear to watch die a year ago.

Who knows? Maybe once I get used to this Scentsy thing, maybe I’ll be able to have fundraisers of my own, and support non-profit organizations I support! It’s a future possibility.

But like I said, once I get the hang of things…it’s kind of a slow bumpy beginning. But maybe it’s that way for all home businesses.

I am having my doubts using social media as a tool of communication. Since I started Scentsy, and I’ve been trying to engage with others online…I noticed that that form of communication is actually kind of empty and numb. People just mindlessly “like” and RT. There is very little communicating. That’s a bit disturbing.

So maybe when it comes to my business, I may have to go to other lengths and find places with a sense of community. Because all my other attempts, social media, mail, it’s not working. Even approaching people on my walks isn’t working. So yeah, community settings should be my next target to engage people into actual conversations.

Anyways, enough babble from me. Thanks for reading! Peace and love! – Pooks

” The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

Thomas Edison

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