Whatever That May Be

Hi again!

I get to visit my son at Vanier tomorrow. However, I was disappointed that I’m not allowed to take him for a walk outside of Vanier. Kind of makes me think that the ex is right, our son is being institutionalized. He’s being treated like a criminal by numerous organizations.

The schools feared him because of his height. I’m sure his angry outbursts didn’t help. But by the sounds of it, it sounds like he was just trying to get some academic help, and no teachers were willing to do so. But singling him out based on his size? That’s pretty discriminative of these organizations. Should a child be experiencing that kind of discrimination at his age? He was 10 at the time, 11 now. 

Yes, the whole reason he is at Vanier now is because he said he wanted to kill himself. This took place at a foster home in Chatham. But after an incident with my daughter recently, I’m starting to think that maybe things have been blown way out of proportion when it comes to my son. I mean, with my eldest daughter, my partner and I asked her to clean her room. She didn’t want to, and started saying things like; “I don’t deserve to live.” Is she being institutionalized? No. Children can say stupid things without meaning it. They can be over-dramatic.  Which makes me think that maybe my son was cut off of video games or something, and he said something stupid because of it. Why he must be treated like a criminal for it? Beats me. But then again, I know suicide is a voodoo topic, and isn’t taken very lightly. So yeah, not exactly the best thing to falsely claim to want to do just because something doesn’t go your way.

Even court for my son has been taking place very differently than for my daughter. I mean, with my son, apparently my band has to be served as well. This wasn’t the case for my daughter, matter of fact, things happened rather rapidly with her in court. But because my son is being labeled as “Indian”, and my daughter wasn’t. I find once you label someone as an “Indian” or Native, society takes it as a green light to discriminate this individual. So…my son is native, and my daughter isn’t? Doesn’t make any sense considering thier mother IS native.

Hence why and when I do surveys online (or applications), I do not answer questions that ask me about my culture or ethnic background. Thankfully, there’s an option that allows you to prefer not to say. I used to say I was aboriginal in these surveys, but then I noticed that surveys would just shut down, and I’d get a screen that would come up saying sorry, there’s no survey for you at this time.

That’s besides the point, back to my son. I saw a tweet on Twitter that struck a cord, and made me think of him and his current situation. It was posted by Mine Magazine, and it said: Children must be protected from discrimination. Notice the word protected. Yeah, that goes for schools, and children services such as CAS and Vanier as well.

I understand that they are concerned that schizophrenia may have been passed down. But then again, maybe that paranoia trait was just picked up from living with his father for five years. Children mimic their environment. So if my son was having anger issues, hissy fits, and throwing things at teachers…where did he learn that behavior from? I did mention that he was living with his father for 5 years, did I not?

Things are looking rather dim for my son. Especially when it comes to custody, and getting him out of Vanier. When he does get out, he’ll still have to attend the 8 to 8 program. But since he doesn’t want to visit here, it’s making my chances of bringing him home rather slim. Ya know? He’s going to get himself stuck in foster care as a crown ward.

I can’t see CAS giving custody back to his father. Especially after having a psychiatrist ask why CAS put our children in the care of a schizophrenic in the first place. Not to mention that he is making himself look even more crazier by wanting to sue CAS, St. Francis Catholic School, and Wilton Grove public school for “breech of trust.” I can’t see that going very well. So I am my sons only hope, and he’s rejecting me.

Or is he? I mean for awhile there, I had CAS tell me that my son wasn’t interested in visiting with me, yet my ex and our daughter were saying otherwise. So I confronted CAS on that through email, and they said the same, he’s still not interested. Then I called my son at Vanier, and he said he would like to visit, just not all the time. Hence how I got my visit for tomorrow, my son called his worker, and his worker called CAS after that phone call.

Is CAS trying to prevent him from coming home to his mother? Why? Why let my daughter, but not my son? Because they are playing match maker and they think he doesn’t fit into the picture? He’s my son, of coarse he fits in here. And I have a shit load of support on my side for him too. My partner’s family accepts him. My foster family is there to support. My biological family is there to support. Heck, I’m even in touch with my exes mother and eldest daughter. They too are there to support!!

So if you ask me, I don’t get it. Even though my visit will be unsupervised, why the need to “reassess” in order for me to take my son for a walk and give him a little freedom? I’m not the risk or concern, so why treat me as if I were? Hmmm… Because my son said I yanked him out of bed?? No, my daughter always woke him up with the puppies, or sometimes I would blow a whistle. No physical contact. However, maybe the story got mixed up.  I did drag my partner out of bed when he came home drunk, and I was upset that he did when my daughter and son were over for a visit. They’ve witnessed enough drugs and alcohol through their father and his friends. Anyways,  I was going to kick my partner out of the house. But we talked, and we both went to bed. Unfortunately we did wake my son up, and he saw me crying. That was last year. Every now and then there were arguments between my partner and I regarding alcohol, and yeah, hopefully that’s behind us and we are on the same page now. If he drinks over 3 beers, sleep in  the man cave. So far that agreement has been working for the both of us.

Overall, I don’t think my son should be discriminated and continuously punished based on his size, ethnic background, and for saying something stupid that he did not mean. That’s just my opinion on this whole situation.

I miss him. He’s a good kid. At least with me he was.

I know things would be different here, and probably hard to adjust to. Considering he had so much free reign with his father, there’s actually rules here. And we get up early every morning. My daughter goes to school on her own, and comes back on her own. We live right beside the school. But she is to do homework as soon as she gets home, and clean her room before she can play. I know my son struggled with rules and authority. The stuff my ex was teaching him is more for university students, about Capitalism and stuff. A child’s mind isn’t ready for that. I mean look what it did to our son, he didn’t want to participate in society whatsoever and got quite depressed that he’d just sleep all day. On the plus side, he’s too smart for his age with what he knows… he is consciously aware of the system unlike other children his age.

Anyways, I can only hope for the best for my son, whatever that may be.

Peace and Love – Pooks




Hi again, 

Even though I was pretty shocked at the discrimination I experienced on a local Buy n Sell page, I will continue to do what I do. Share as much of myself as I can. 

Matter of fact, I  have this idea. Throughout the years I have taken photos of London, ON whenever I went for a walk. Anyways, I  have quite the collection of pictures now, it’s  what to do with them. So I  was thinking, even though I  did get treated quite poorly recently by numerous citizens in this city, I’ll create something for it anyways. Despite the cruelty they inflict, I will remain giving.  

My idea is to create a photography book. Even though I  do not consider myself a professional photographer, and do not have all the fancy equipment, I just use what I got. Which is usually my cellphone. Anyways, it might take me a bit of time to put together, and publish. Just going through the images I realized I have lots to choose from. But it will make a great book for those who are proud to be a Londoner, or a gift for those whom move away and can carry a piece of London with them wherever they go. I won’t  get into too much detail, but I  do have a title for it already in my mind. So yeah…ideas are brewing… 

Besides that, regarding court. We went back on the 12th, and it was adjourned because my band (Pikangikum) wasn’t served. It was a bit disappointing, but expected. I  was told ahead of time that when it comes to my son, things may take longer. 

I am trying to get custody, his father is trying to get custody, and CAS is trying to make our son a crown ward for 6 months, and after those 6 months we’ll just have to go back to court again. 

A friend told me that if my son is made a crown ward of CAS, then I  won’t  have any contact with him until he is 21. That gave me quite the scare. And it’s  making me wonder if I  should be as cooperative as I have been. Am I just making it easier for them to take him away for good? 

My sister said that it’s  a race now. To contact Pikangikum before CAS so that that doesn’t happen. 

However, my daughter was in a foster home for 6 months and I managed to get her back by cooperating with CAS. So if it comes down to it, I  can do the same for my son. 

The next court date is April 20th, and hopefully by then Pikangikum is served and we can see what direction things go. 

I already plan to have as much support for my son as possible if I  am granted custody. The plan is regular meetings with CAS, Vanier, and teachers (when my son makes that transition from Vanier to back to school). I hope Vanier can teach myself and whomever his teacher will be when the time comes, how to help him with his anxiety.  

But yeah…wait until April 20th, and things will start to unfold. 

Anyways, my eldest daughter got an A on her book report! That makes me so happy. Happy because even though she wanted me to write her teacher a late note for forgetting her paper bag in her desk, I  didn’t let it slide. I made sure she did her book report last weekend, I even made her a bag myself. ( Thanks to Scentsy, I know how to make my own envelopes and gift bags. Plus the origami discussions I’ve had in the past with the current facilitator of the New School of Colour. Lol) So all she had to do was decorate the exterior of the bag, and find 3 objects that represent the book she chose inside.  She did have trouble reading, so I read it out loud as long as she agreed to pay attention. She did. And look! She passed with flying colours! I’m so proud!

My baby is starting to slowly make the transition from formula to homogenized milk. 

I read a chapter a day to her out loud from the book The Chronicles of Narnia. So she is starting to pick up not exactly words, but figuring out different sounds to make vocally. Even though she speaks baby babble, she babbles a lot and has a lot to say. Lol. She even is starting to use her hands when she talks, it’s cute. 

She’s not walking yet, but soon she will be. For now, she crawls around mostly, and gets into everything. She can crawl pretty fast when she wants to. And when she crawls, she wiggles her butt. Lol

Ummm…art…I did one painting and tried to sell it for $200. But since I got the bills I needed to take care of, perhaps I can now bring the price down. It’s a bit different than my other pieces because it’s textured. 

I took an old painting I left lying around for years, and revamped it! I’m much happier with it now. 

I haven’t started on anything for the Twitter Art Exhibit, but I  really should get on that a.s.a.p. I  love participating and donating my art for a cause. 

One day I  may move from London, or be on the outskirts.  My partner talks a lot about moving, and  living a bit more simple.  So there could possibly be no Internet either, so that would be the end of this blog. 

That may be in a few years, still got some debts to pay off before we can do that. And I’m not leaving without my son. Plus I  would need to get my drivers license, so that I’m not constantly depending on my partner. It drives me nuts to be financially dependant on him, but at least I’m trying to find ways to make my own income. 

Still here in the meantime… peace and love – Pooks 

London Ontario Buy n Sell

So yesterday I  put an ad on Facebook. We are trying to sell 4 “shih tzu” puppies.  

We are not breeders. We didn’t plan on having puppies, but shit happens. 

Anyways, I  was surprised at the amount of hate I received for posting that ad from people of London, ON.  Even over the stupidest littlest things. I was getting called a dumbass for spelling errors.  People were saying I shouldn’t even own a dog because the puppies don’t  have papers or shots. I  was even called a fascist for saying to only comment if interested in buying a puppy. It is a buy and sell page, and majority of the people that commented were grown adults that were just there to bully. Shame on you London! You disgust me. 

Seriously, if you’re not interested in the sale, keep scrolling.  That would be the logical, mature thing to do. Why the hell comment and make a huge stink over something you’re not interested in for yourself? Oh that’s  right. You got nothing better to do than be a troll. Let’s try to spoil this sale because we think she is undeserving for some fucked up reason. Or maybe these people are envious that they don’t have shih tzus to sell themselves. So they gotta rain on my parade. I don’t know.  I  just know that now I  think that the people of London are annoying, and stupid. Well done! Way to represent! There’s  a lot of Londoners that lack character.  How sad. 

People were even complaining about the price, saying  $300 is too expensive and that I was being deceitful.  Umm…Had we had a way to get these puppies to my partners mother in Oshawa, she could sell them for $800 each without papers, shots, or hassle. So yeah, for a shih tzu puppy, $300 is pretty cheap. 

But no, London doesn’t see that.  Let’s attack the native woman, I mean there were others selling pets on that page before, but there seems to be a HUGE problem when they see a native  do it. 

Because of the amount of drama my ad attracted, it was taken down off of Facebook twice. 

So here are my words to the people of London. Grow the fuck up. You act like children. Very immature. 

So what if the puppies don’t have shots or papers. Their new owners can get that done if they choose. You say take them to a vet and they should be put in good homes. What the fuck do you dumbasses think I’m trying to do?!! I  am trying to find them good homes. And papers aren’t going to be a big deal for a real person that is truly compassionate about animals.  They won’t care if it is purebred or not. 

So to all the anal people that gave me trouble yesterday….

Peace and fuckin love – Pooks