Such as…when it comes to my childrens father’s… it doesn’t matter if you have a steady job or not. An ass can come in many forms. A job is just a job. I mean, with both father’s, one is a welfare bum, and he’s still an ass. My recent ex-partner, he has a steady job, good job title, and he’s still an ass.
I don’t know what or why it is that men feel they have to act like complete assholes in order to be masculine or “manly”. That’s not masculine, that just makes you a douche. FYI no woman likes that shit, let alone believes in that. It must be an immaturity thing. Shit they learned in thier adolescents, and just think that’s the way it is. Nope! Not to mention, it’s a major turn off. So if you want to be alone all your life, keep that shit up.
Don’t matter. Both lost me for good.
I just don’t get why I keep ending up with this type of men. Why do I choose this shit for myself? What is it about me that attracts this bullshit to me. Just one mistake after another after another. You’d think I’d learn. And I thought I did…but apparently not. Just going through similar shit all over again. Perhaps deep in my subconscious, I must believe I deserve the shittiest shit imaginable. But why?
I could think and analyze that a million times and still have no answer.
It’s just…I had enough shit on my plate as is with my eldest children’s father, than my now ex partner comes along and doesn’t help, just adds more shit. Yup. Thank you soooo much!
So yeah, I feel like I hit rock bottom again, thanks to a man. But yeah, the only way is up, right? Well…minus the bullshit obstacles they toss my way. For example, my now ex partner won’t give the CAS worker our baby daughters birth certificate. Which is something I need to apply for housing. Fuck I hate men so much right now. Especially controlling douche bags. Fuck you. They’re fuckin useless. They just make things more complicated than they need to be.
Not that I’ll let my daughter live with a drunk. I mean, if he wants access, start going to AA!
Anyways, my baby got her 15 month shots today, and she didn’t even react or cry. Such a tough cookie.
Tomorrow I got more running around to do. Trying to line things up. One day at a time. Breathe…
Thank you for reading. Peace and love! – Pooks