Flustered After That

I haven’t really written in awhile. I have posted, but mostly about my fundraiser because I  am trying really hard to get my arrears paid off. 

But yeah.  On the 17th of August was my court appearance regarding the assault charge with a weapon.  Anyways, I spoke to the Duty Council, and he sent me to Legal Aid to get a certificate for a lawyer.  

My ex partner showed up. Saying some bullshit that he loves me and blah blah blah. I held up my court papers and said “you call this love??” Wow. 

He was also asking to see our 1 year old daughter, which is pretty fucked up considering he wasn’t really involved with her before. I used to have to get really upset with him just to get him to spend a little time with her. Heck, he made more of an effort with his God child than he ever has than with his own daughter! So what the fuck? 

Anyways, what’s even more fucked up is that there’s a court order stating that I cannot be anywhere near him. What do I do if he’s coming to me, and harassing me?! 

Anyways, regarding our daughter, I told him to talk to CAS. He said he did, and they told him to wait until court. Well, there’s your answer.  But since he kept bugging me, I just told him to call Merrymount to get him to leave me the fuck alone. Not that any arrangements will be made until we go to family court. I don’t need another ex running off my child(ren) like a prior ex. 

Anyways, I  was pretty flustered after that. After I spoke with Legal Aid, they sent me away. And I thought they meant that was it for the day. So I went to my family lawyer to see what criminal lawyer he would recommend.  

The next day, I called the recommended lawyer, and he asked when my next court appearance was. I realized I wasn’t given another date. So he asked if I made it in a court room yesterday, and I said no. They sent me away. At that point he said that there is probably a warrant for my arrest, and that I should get to the court house a.s.a.p and contact the duty council. 

Yep. There was a misunderstanding/ miscommunication.  So I went back to court, got the date I needed. And that pretty much brings you up to speed. 

Today I met with my Criminal Law lawyer, and I basically had to tell him what happened on June 18th. I did. And he said he’d talk to the crown and will call me back later to tell me how it went. 

Can you believe that my ex partner is claiming that I am uncleanly, and that I spend too much time on the Internet? Lmao. This is coming from a guy that racks up his phone bill to $800 due to his data usage.  Meanwhile, when I was with him, I had no access to a phone, or Internet.  Hence why I had to go to my daughter’s school just to call CAS for help. As for cleanliness? It was getting to a point where I was the only one doing chores while he drank. So yeah, he needs to take a good look in the mirror.  Maybe all these accusations he’s shooting off is really about himself. Ahem, cleanliness? Hooked to the Internet? Cheating?!! I’m not the one that had a nude photo of an ex on my cellphone. 

Oh another thing. His supposed “witnesses “, one is his drinking buddy that was supplying the alcohol that night. The other witness is his mother. His mother whom lives in another city. So how can she be a witness? Because he sent text messages?? He could be lying out of his ass of what actually happened for all she knows. Yup. You got some nice witnesses there bud. 

As for family court…the affidavit my lawyer and I received where my ex partner is trying to get custody of our one year old. Of course he tries to paint a picture of his job and big family that is supposedly supportive. Okay, his family, from the 2 years I’ve been with him, I’ve realized that the local relatives aren’t really that supportive of him, and the only support he really has is his mother. His other relatives are nowhere to be seen in time of need. As for his job that he tries to glamourize.  He works from 7am to 8pm. So just when is does he plan to be a  parent to our daughter? And how does he plan to take her to all these programs that happen during the day? 

His idea of parenting was to let her do whatever while he plays on his cellphone, or while he drinks. He is incapable of parenting, and to try to take my rights away when I’ve been doing all the work as a parent?? Wow. 

I spoke to some people, some indigenous people, and they laugh at the situation and call him a bitch.  They say the little dragon ordiment I hit him with is equivalent to throwing popcorn at his face. Grow some balls. I admit they made me laugh when they said that. But maybe I needed the laugh especially with everything that I am going through. 

What else? I was counting on the CCB to pay off half the arrears. But thanks to my ex partner not doing his taxes. I won’t be getting that, and I’m pretty much stuck homeless until he does, or unless I can find a way to come up with $2,808.00 to pay off the arrears just so my housing application can be processed.  

So yeah, I’m not too happy with him. I feel like men only exist to destroy your life. That’s probably why I’m pregnant with a boy. A boy to love, and to raise unlike these other men.  Immature, irresponsible and vindictive.  He won’t be a controlling fuckin douche bag to women, because he’ll be raised by women. 

Anyways, that’s enough for the day. Thanks for reading. Peace and love- Pooks 

“In the time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”

– George Orwell 

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Two

I have two fundraisers going on at once which are my attempt to raise money to pay off my arrears. 

Luckily the arrears that I owed London Middlesex Housing Corporation got paid off in full. Apparently I just owed them $285. A loan that I applied for covered that. 

They also said that they will be working on some changes so that if 2 people were common law, both parties will be accountable for arrears. That was good to hear, I’d hate to see another person be pegged unfairly with an entire debt. 

Anyways, that leaves $2,800 and something for my First Nation Housing Co-op arrears. 

One of my fundraisers I have already shared here on WordPress.  It is my Go Fund Me page, called Help a Homeless family get into Housing

https://www.gofundme.com/help-a-homeless-family-get-housing?lang=en
My other fundraiser is called Pooks LDNONT (& SurroundingArea) Art Auction 

I have 2 paintings, that are a set, up for grabs. The money raised will go towards the arrears that I owe. My original idea was to put 50% towards a homeless shelter, and 50% towards my arrears, but my worker at the shelter suggested that I put it all towards my arrears. She really wants to see us get into housing. She’s awesome.

Anyways…

NOTE- The Auction ends tomorrow at 4pm

https://www.facebook.com/events/264011794103957/?ti=cl

Feel free to donate or participate.  Every little bit helps my family get that much closer to getting a home. 

Peace and love- Pooks 

More Noise from the Bitch

​”I am sorry Pauline…but selfish is watching your children be hungry and homeless while spouting rubbish about being to good for a capitalist system and how you are a lofty artist….and then to be so irresponsible as to bring another one into the mess YOU created…not the men in your life who by the way YOU chose….not the system which everyone has to learn to survive in….but YOU…you are accountable to your children for what you are doing…you are making the decisions that impact on them…but you want to blame everyone else and have the Public pay for them…you are using your children to make people feel sorry for you while you do NOTHING to support them….NOTHING…and never have….when Iwent to england I also sent you and ERic hundreds of pounds of money…MONEY I WORKED FOR….who have you ever given money to…..who have you gone to work for….you need to look in the mirror pauline and have an honest discussion with yourself…..you are not worse than me…but you are not better either…all of us just want to survive and get on with it….I have made lots of mistakes and I have had friends and family give me a good kick up the backside whan I needed it…well this is yours now and I hope it shakes you awake.

Someone had to say this to you Pauline…hope it helps

Rose

…only an enemy would be a yes man and always agree with you while you and your family sink under the mud….a true friend takes the risk of telling you what you need to hear…if i didn’t think you were worth it I wouldn’t have tried , risking you doing one of your character assasinations on line. Only a coward bullies a person by slandering them online while refusing an honest dialogue directly with them.

You will never learn if you don’t gain some humility.  Humility is the beginning of wisdom. Start by owning your responsibility in this mess. 

Rose”

So after I blocked this woman on Facebook, she emails me. The above is what she sent. Ya know.  I am getting sick of this shit. 

“Selfish is watching your children be hungry and homeless.” 

Wow. My kids are eating better since we left Derek. Heck, we aren’t scavenging to make a single meal! With Derek it was getting to the point where we were eating chicken hearts for dinner for crying out loud! Because it was cheap, and my ex partner only thought of himself. Buying hunting traps. Buying a water raft for his outdoor adventures, and beer! Ya know?? While his pregnant girlfriend and dependants starve. Now my kids eat 3 times a day plus snacks here at the shelter. So no, they are not starving. My eldest daughter actually gained weight since we left. 

I feel like this bitch is trying to make ME feel ashamed for leaving a toxic relationship. Yeah, we currently live in a shelter, which in fact C.A.S brought us to. If they think that is best for us for the time being, then I will trust thier decision. 

 I never did say that I am “too good” for the Capitalist system. Matter of fact, being an indigenous woman, I’m not really welcome in the system. Just saying. But I don’t expect a white person to understand the amount of prejudice a person of Colour experiences. However I do share my opinion, and how I feel about it. 

Often Indigenous people have to create thier own jobs. Hence my efforts to actually do something I love, rather than do the norm. 

It drove me nuts when my ex partner tried to lecture my eldest daughter with this “be like me” bullshit. Ya know, why? He hates his fuckin job. He’s miserable and drinks his sorrows away. That’s not the life I want my children to live! Sure that shit is expected by society, but I want my children to believe that the norm isn’t the only option. I want them to believe they can create the life they want. And as hard as it is for me as an artist, I  will try my best to be that example.  Wither I succeed or not, I will do what I love. I will do what I know in my heart that I was born to do. 

As for being so “irresponsible ” for bringing another child into this “mess”. Wow. It would have been irresponsible of me to stay in a toxic relationship pretending things are fine when thier not, and having my children be raised by unhappy parents.  Fuck that! 

Irresponsible is dropping all responsibility of my children, leaving them behind with a pedophile like she did. Oh, just because life got too hard. And I’m selfish? Your children have every right to be angry with you! You gave up on them. So don’t even think you can tell me how to parent, especially since you weren’t even there for your own!

I am accountable for my actions. Yeah I fucked up and chose losers to be father’s. One includes her son. Lesson learned. I’ll pick up the fuckin slack as I always do. 

As for being pissed about my Go Fund Me page. That sounds like jealousy. It takes a lot of courage and humility to ask publicly for help. So don’t tell me I don’t know anything about humility. Heck, I get slammed online just asking for items on local FB pages because there’s women, like Rose, that think they have a say wither I am deserving or not. 

I actually get kudos from my workers and other women for thinking of a Go Fund Me page. I’m told that that is brilliant, to be able to come up with that as a solution because it’s not something they would have thought of. 

Sorry you were and are to cowardly to ask people for help yourself when you needed it. That isn’t my problem.  But to shit down my throat for asking for help, wow. Low. 

Or maybe it’s your white privilege (Lil Miss I live in the U.K) that’s got you so arrogant and prideful. 

Fuckin telling me to get a job. Haha! I  talked to other moms in the shelter. They laughed too. A pregnant woman is most not likely to be hired here, nor will they qualify for maternity leave. Hence why most mothers wait until thier child is 2 years old and old enough for daycare. Smh.

“Character assasinations”, haha! That’s hilarious.  This is only my response to your behavior.  As I tell everyone, if you don’t want my “character assassination ” to happen to you, then don’t be a negative in my life. Otherwise it will be fuel for my venting. Simple. Capiche? Some people can’t wrap thier heads around that. I guess she must be one. 

P.S. responding to your bullshit is not cowardly. It is a response to something you started. Deal with it. 

Have a nice day 😊😊😊

Peace and love – Pooks 

Criticism & Judgement

“there is just one thing bothering me in all this Pauline…it was one thing to get pregnant by Derek after only dating him for 3 months…but why a second when by your words he was a shit…you were already in financial trouble when you were with him…so why would you bring another child into the world when you couldn’t support the ones you had….i am struggling to understand you…Did derek agree to having another….I thought he actually had asked you to get a job….sorry Pauline..hard questions and I know i risk making you angry but I am very puzzled”. 

That’s a message I got from my eldest daughters grandmother today on Facebook. 

Like wow. Am I so not in the mood to have my decisions and mistakes be judged and criticized.  I’m trying to focus on getting myself out of this rut.

And to say that I can’t handle the children??? What the fuck do you know??? You’re over seas!! I’m the only parent making a damn effort. I’d say her son couldn’t handle the responsibility considering my two eldest children were apprehended from his care!!

And to bitch at me for deciding to keep the baby I am currently pregnant with.  THAT is my decision.  I don’t give a shit if Derek believes it’s his or not. I am taking responsibility and accountability for my actions. I will raise the child (and other children) on my own!!

So you don’t understand why I do what I do. Maybe it’s not for you to understand. It is my life. Not hers. 

I know I am not capable of terminating a young life. I’ve said it many times, who am I to make that decision wither an unborn child deserves to live or die? Point is, I’m pregnant. There is a living being in my womb, and despite my circumstances, that life deserves to live. Plus, every time I’ve come to the crossroads of that decision of abortion, I can never go through with it. Maybe I’m too nice. I don’t know. 

Anyways, she has the nerve to sit on her fat ass judging my life based on my blogs. How about some support? Your fuckin granddaughter is in my care because your son who claims to know all, knows fuck all about parenting. 

Fuckin men. Both father’s are like that. Say they raised thier younger siblings, and know all about parenting, but when in reality…where the fuck are they? They don’t know shit. And just because you pay rent, and buy food, that doesn’t make you a parent. Children need your time, they will value your time over anything you can buy them. So yeah, don’t fuckin say I can’t handle when I am the only one stepping up for these children. Go fuck your criticism and judgements. I sacrifice a lot for my children, I’m not abandoning them and leaving the country for selfish reasons. Be grateful your grandchildren have me for a mother. 

Peace and Love – Pooks 

Screwed Over

Hi again. 

So the clock is ticking…and I admit that I do get exhausted and overwhelmed with all the things I have to get done. 

Right now, it’s 1:46pm, and I am on my way to a prenatal appointment.  

That’s the thing…there’s prenatal appointment, lawyer appointments, I need to get blood work done, other appointments with the staff at the shelter, court coming up this month…and trying to figure out how I’m going to come up with $3000 to pay off my arrears that I owe in order to be eligible for housing. Seriously, it’s overwhelming, and I find myself taking time outs to just cry. 

Funny how low income housing is suddenly more expensive than the regular rental market. 

But I got screwed over, to put it nicely. Most of the arrears are for First Nation Housing Co-op.  It’s not even them that fucked me over. It’s my ex partner.  When he moved in, and First Nation Housing wouldn’t add him to the lease, I  got cut off OW because he made too much of an income. Well, he refused to pay rent. And since First Nation Housing didn’t add him to the lease, all because he didn’t want to take time off work to do his taxes and hand that in to housing…I’m the one paying the price now. All the rent he didn’t pay, I  get the bill in the end. 

Why didn’t I see this coming? Blind by this bullshit you call love or lust. 

As for the arrears that I owe London Housing…why didn’t my ex ( the father of my 2 eldest children) get pegged with these arrears as well? He’s partly responsible for 2 of those addresses. But he wasn’t given any problems getting into housing, but I get the bill??

Whatever.  I am always picking up the slack after irresponsible, immature men. That’s my life.

So that is why I have a Go Fund Me page up and running. With the hopes people will help me out of this rut. I mean, I am an unemployed, pregnant, single mom of 2 (going on 3). Yeah, I’m an artist, but it would take a shit load of paintings to cover that debt. Not to mention finding the time with a toddler and a 9 year old is difficult as is. 

So if you can help, even just a little, that would mean a lot.  You would be opening a door so that my children and I can get a roof over our heads of our own. And we won’t be homeless, living in a women’s shelter anymore. Speaking of that, our time is almost up before we get the boot. Technically we are given 28 days, but our time there has been extended once already. The clock is ticking before we got to move to another shelter. I really don’t want to bounce my children from shelter to shelter if I can help it. 

My housing application is pending.  I just need to pay off the arrears and then we’ll be on the priority list.  

The link to my Go Fund Me page is at…

Help a Homeless family get housing
Thanks for reading. 

Peace and love- Pooks