It’s been awhile since I blogged. I am currently getting over a nasty chest cold. Thankfully, I am starting to feel better. I did have a prenatal appointment scheduled for last Friday, but cancelled because both my toddler and I were sick. So it has been rescheduled for tomorrow.
Last Monday my CAS worker came by. She toured our home, and seems to be okay with it, despite it was a mess. Boxes everywhere, and what not. But it’s gotten a lot better. It’s starting to feel, and function like an actual home.
Speaking about CAS, when I was at Zhaawanoong, a kinship CAS worker came to visit me asking about family members that may want contact with my son. The thing that struck me as unusual was that the kinship worker said that CAS strives to keep family together. Ideally they would want my son with family. Odd. Then why is my worker and her supervisor trying so hard to make foster care a permanent thing for my son when they say “You didn’t do anything wrong”? If it weren’t for my lawyer, and my eldest childrens father’s lawyer, my son would be a crown ward if CAS had their way.
It’s just mind boggling how one worker says one thing, but another workers actions contradict that supposed ideology.
My Public Health Nurse came by and dropped off a bunch of items for my home. She’s awesome! Same with a friend that dropped off a bunch of baby boy stuff, books, etc. And Birthright, whom gave a baby boy layette. I feel more and more prepared the closer I get to my due date. I even have a bassinet, and a car seat. Fingers crossed that the friend I asked to babysit my daughters when I go into labour pulls through on call. As a back up plan, my CAS worker said she will try to schedule an emergency respite at Merrymount my daughters when that day comes.
Speaking of Merrymount, I missed Wednesday’s visit. However, I did try to go, but my toddler and I were kicked out of a Uneedacab. The driver didn’t budge out of the parking lot, he just said that he didn’t want my daughter in his cab. Note, she was sick, and just spit up in the back seat. Still, I found cab driver #456 to be very ignorant and rude. What if we were going to the hospital?? No, lets deny transportation to a pregnant mom, and her sick toddler. So yeah, thanks to this damn cab driver I wasn’t able to make it to Merrymount that day. By the time that whole episode ended, it was too late. I would have been extremely late. So I called and cancelled very disappointed that I did not make it there. I mean the visits are court ordered, so yeah, thank you Uneedacab! I definitely won’t be calling that cab company ever again.
Merrymount called me later in regards of “make-up visits “. Strange, because when my eldest children’s father and I used the Supervised Access Program years ago, and make -up visits were not an option. So I emailed my lawyer about it. Merrymount, nor my ex-partner have no control over the visits. The court does. So any changes should be brought forth to a lawyer. Anyways, Merrymount called back again, this time in a different sort of tone. They were suddenly saying that they don’t do make up visits, but they’ll keep the one I have already scheduled. Anyways, they also said that my ex-partner was the one suggesting more access because of my due date that is rapidly approaching. He wanted a visit with his daughter (my youngest daughter) from December 23ird to January 3ird. So basically over the holidays. As I told my lawyer, I was not comfortable with that. One of my ex-partners excuses to drink is on holidays. Well…honestly, he’s got a million excuses. He drinks when he’s stressed, happy, for recreation, to relax, to celebrate, when he’s depressed, etc. Etc. For the 2 years I was with him, I don’t recall him having a sober holiday. But that’s straying from the point. I told Merrymount that I have a friend on call that will look after my daughters when that time comes. And CAS offered to schedule an emergency respite at Merrymount as a back up plan if that falls through. I even have another friend whom was my Doula last year that offered to help anyway she can. She too has had a baby not too long ago. Also, her 4th child. Anyways, I appreciate her friendship. We are both on the same page, our 4th child is our last child.
December 18th, 2017
What else happened?
I got a call from my Criminal Law Lawyer regarding the assault charge. He told me that there is a trial coming up in April, and he asked if I heard anything from my ex-partner. I told him not since I picked up some of my things from our old address. And that my ex-partner was saying he would drop the peace bond if we could communicate as co-parents. However, I have my doubts he’d do that. My lawyer asked if that is something I’d want, and quite honestly, the answer is no. I feel like my eldest daughter and I need our space from him. I also mentioned how my Family Law Lawyer had to step in as a third party because my ex-partner kept breaking his own peace bond that was set against me. So now if he has anything to say to me, he can go through my family lawyer.
As for my eldest childrens father, I do have contact with him. There is no court order stating I can’t. Anyways, his access with his daughter have been put on hold by CAS because he missed a visit. Why did he miss the visit? He got sick. Anyways, the worker told me that he needed to contact CAS, and by the sounds of it he has made an effort, but they are avoiding his calls, emails, and will not speak to him when he goes directly to the CAS building. How is that fair? Another interesting fact, CAS told me that we will probably be going to court soon so that they CAN put his visits on hold. So legally, by the sounds of it, they are doing something they aren’t allowed to without the courts approval. So now they want to go to court again and cover up that loose end.
Yeah, I know they want to make my eldest childrens father out to be the bad guy. The scary schizophrenic. But by doing that, they are no better than my ex-partner talking shit about thier father to them.
Mental health issues or not, he has rights too. And he shouldn’t be treated like a plague. Just because of his supposed mental health, it gives noone any right to discriminate him.
No I don’t always agree with him. Or we get into our arguments sometimes, but at least when it comes to the kids, we both love them to death and put our issues aside for the sake of our kids. Such as the last trial. We managed to talk and work together with our lawyers, and we prevented our son from becoming a crown ward for another 7 months.
But yeah, discrimination. That’s what I don’t get about these organizations. You would think these agencies would be offering support and resources to parents with mental health issues, not the opposite. Instead, lets alienate these individuals to the point it impacts thier mental health even more with depression.
Not to mention that I believe that my eldest son has experienced the same discrimination with numerous organizations, to the point he’s been isolated from his family. I’m still mind boggled by it. How did he go from being so close with his father, to not wanting anything to do with him? What are these people filling his head with? And is it even true? That bond was tight. So the sudden change is questionable. In the end, my eldest children’s father, will always be thier father. Nothing can change that. Just as I being thier mother.
I was raised as a foster child, and yeah, you could change my last name, or add a name on. But that didn’t make my biological family disappear. That didn’t change who I was. I am, and will always be a King. The youngest daughter of Elizabeth King and Claude Pharond.
Anyways, I just realized Christmas is a week away. And I am not even prepared for it. However, CAS will be dropping off gifts for my daughters. And Zhawanoong signed my family up for Toys for Tots. So at least my children will be getting something. I still need to go Christmas shopping, put up the tree…wow. So not ready.
Anyways, I got a prenatal appointment today. Thankfully I’m not as sick as I was last week. I guess it was inevitable. Once my toddler gets sick, I’m bound to get it too.
Thanks for reading! Peace and Love! – Pooks
“Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.”
– Bertrand Russell