Little Red Cape

Hi again!

I figured it has been about a week since I last posted something.

I’ll try to now anyways, even though I feel extremely tired lately and could use a 24 hour snooze…uninterrupted.

It’s that tired feeling that I cant seem to shake off. At first I thought maybe its because Ive been feeling so overwhelmed lately…or maybe its that iron deficiency again. So…I took some iron today, hoping that will kick in some time. It hasnt yet. Coffee isnt even helping.

Anyways, in my last blog post I was feeling fine…but then I got angry with all this court shit coming up. Stressful times.

However, I try my best not to show that stress to my kids. I try to continue on like court doesnt phase me.

I wont lie. I am worried about the outcome, especially after an email from CAS saying that I didnt apply for custody of my daughter, and that could raise some issues and have her taken feom my home.

That doesnt make any sense. How long have we been going to court for this? Years. I am sure I did apply for custody, so why isnt it in thier records?

Anyways, I am going to try to relax, and hope that my lawyer has this all under control. Its his job. Hes been doing this kind of stuff for years. Let him do what he does best.

Have faith. And believe that I will get custody of my daughter, and soon CAS will be less a part of my life. Thier only involvement will be through my eldest son, and his visits with his sister if all goes well.

Thank my ex partner, he will be taking my youngest two children for a night while I do this court stuff. He will pick them up tomorrow evening, and return them when I am back home from court on Thursday. That helps alot. Rather than having to rush to get them ready to go to thier dads and try to get myself ready for court Thursday morning.

Anyways, my toddler turned 3 years old yesterday. She had a crazy birthday party. I did experience some anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed and overly stimulated. But birthday parties are chaotic. Perhaps its just a little hard for an INFP. I had to give myself a time out. But overall, I think she had a good birthday. She got new clothes, 2 cakes, lots of visitors, 2 remote control cars. One to replace the first that broke within 20 minutes. But yeah, glad she likes them. Shes been playing with her remote control car all day today.

My eldest daughter and I even got her some dresses because I put her green dress on her awhile ago, and she was just loving it. She was twirling in her dress. Watching her twirl got me thinking why. Alot of her clothes are passed down from her cousin, who is a boy. So she usually wears boy clothes. So a dress is really special to her. So my eldest daughter and I went clothes shopping for her last weekend, and made sure to pick up more dresses. She loves them. 😊 Its okay to want to wear something pretty. To feel like a flower, or princess. Its okay to be a girl.

I know mommy and my toddlers big sister aren’t the stereotype of the female image. Both of us are a little tom boyish, a little androgynous in our style. But thats okay too, as long as you are being you.

Anyways, anyways, anyways…

What else?

My postcard sized painting made it to Scotland for the Twitter Art Exhibit this year! Yaaaay! This year proceeds go to Art in Healthcare. How awesome is that?! Art heals yo! And to think that years ago I would get opposers saying that art isnt therapeudic. It totally is. Art is the ulitmate form of expression, and it comes in limitless forms. Through art is self discovery. And through self discovery is love.

Besides that, I have started working on some small square art peices since I noticed the call for artists for this years Hip to be Square exhibition. Last year that was an opportunity I missed out on. So I will try again.

I also started working on something for the Pride Art Show and Sale, since I got an invitation to participate in that. Hopefully I can complete it in time, if not, I do have other works floating about the house that I can submit that are just sitting in my closet getting dusty.

There was another Call for Artists, but a themed exhibition regarding the pollenators. I still have to pick up a canvas for that one. For now…its just brainstorming on what pollenator I could do. Ive done a butterfly before. Im sure there will be lots of bees…I dont know. I will come up with something. But yeah, kinda need a canvas to work on. Perhaps thats something I could pick up this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend….

I signed my eldest daughter up for the Mini-Masters Graffiti Class at Kidscape, which will be instructed by Jeremy Jeresky.

My eldest daughter has been feeling a little down, like her art isnt as good as her friends art. So shes getting a little self conscience there. So I asked her, how many kids in her class can do graffiti art? She said none. So there, she will have an edge.

Not only that, but I also told her that the instructor of the class taught me some things (ahem, at the New School of Colour) as well, so its like she gets to learn from one of my teachers. The one that introduced Pooks to Oil Painting.

I even told her she met this instructor before. A few times here and there, but she doesnt remember. Im sure she’ll recognize him like she’s seen him before somewhere 🤔…. on Friday.

Beacock Library – NSOC Family Day 2014

Anyways, Friday… it will be her father dropping her off to the program, because I will be busy with a visit exchange with my youngest children and thier father. However, I will be there to pick her up. I look forward to seeing how she turns her name, or nickname into a work of art.
I have no idea how she can feel self conscience about her work. She is one talented young lady. She can draw (better than I did in grade 5), she can knit, shes good at math, shes good at music (which totally blows my mind), she can bake, she got awards in track n’ field for running. Shes learning french, and teaches herself Ojibwe through her own research. She can make and edit her own videos, she does pretty neat stuff with a circuit board. Etc, etc. She’s a talented power house in my mind.

She wants to be greater than The Pooks one day. Oh she will be. I can see it already. Keep it up, your well on your way!🖒

Anyways….what else? My eldest daughters father said someone and his family seems to know me pretty well. Odd. Considering I have no idea who they are. But then again…there’s social media for ya. Many people may know of me, know my name, know my story from here, and I know nothing about them. Not the first time… Ive been blogging for 8 years, and yeah…kinda used to it. Anyone could be a reader. I could walk right by and not know. Lol

It has it pros and cons. Blogging does. Cons as in when institutions or organizations that try to conform you and tell you what to think instead… However, I’m no fool, and I can usually tell they read my work. I can see through that. People will say things a little too familiar, or oppose to a thought I only say here. I’m very aware and listening…and watching very closely. 🤔

As in pros, its given me a voice. Your voice. The one in your head reading this.

Those that know me in person know that I dont say much. I let everyone else do the talking. I listen. I observe. I take in the energy, and tranfer it into another medium. Energy must be in a constant flow.

Anyways…I am super tired…with a little red cape tired. This mama needs rest. Good night. Thanks for reading…. Peace and Love!

– Pooks

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.”

– Martha Graham

Writing is the Next Best Thing

Hi again!!

Since my eldest daughter is at her friends house, and my youngest 2 children are napping, I can actually use my laptop!!

Yeah, my chromebook gets taken over by my 10 year old now that she doesn’t have her own laptop, but on the plus side….it cant be in her room keeping her up til 3:40am or later. So far, on week days the rule is that she has to bring it back down to the livingroom at bedtime.

It’s so weird not having to do this on my cellphone with this miniature keypad. Lol

Anyways, not too much is going on. I say that then I will remember a bunch of stuff. Haha!

I did manage to whip up another postcard for the Twitter Art Exhibit, since my original piece got published in the Synaeresis Poetry and Art Magazine. But hey, I did it! And within one night too. I managed to paint a surreal landscape that doesnt exsist. It would look like it would with the grass, the hills, the cherry blossom tree…but then I put Saturn in the sky instead of the moon. Lol. BAM! Throws you off. But yeah, from Saturn….or to Saturn…is this path…that goes to a staircase…or lightning bolt coming from the planet… It keeps you guessing whats going on there. So I am pretty happy with it.

It’s been mailed off last week, and the postman said that it would take a week or 2 to reach Scotland. So it could very well make it there on time to be a part of the Twitter Art Exhibit 2019 catalogue.

So yeah, I didn’t miss out this year. Yaaaaay! No point letting haters drive me away. Nope, just going to keep on doing what I do best. And that is pretty much sharing my art and writing with the world!!

An art piece of mine got published on ModernMetisWoman’s Instagram page. Likes = votes. Last time I checked, I was upto 30 likes. Not bad! My art still got shared through someone else, and that is awesome enough. I don’t need to win the money. I just want…your eyes on my art. Haha! Even for a moment. I say that because people scroll through social media so fast. For an artist to actually stop that for a moment of awe, it’s huge. It’s even more huge if our work is shared.

So thank you to the peeps that share my work and get it out there! That includes Michael R. Lawrence, and Andreas Connel Gripp. Back in the day it was Marshall Custus, and Jeremy Jeresky through the New School of Colour. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to make some connections on my own, but I have and its been quite the learning experience.

I have no professional training in this field, so I’m just winging it, and seeing where it takes me. I kind of like it that way. Trial and Error through experience.

Anyways, blah blah blah.

What else? I am excited that I have this indoor garden happening, and my garlic is growing. Back in the day I used to say that I didn’t have a green thumb. So I can thank my ex-partner for getting me into gardening. There is something peaceful, and rewarding in it’s own little way about it.

Speaking of my ex-partner. I went to the Museum of Ontario Archaeology with him and my youngest two children over the weekend. Since I couldn’t get my eldest daughter there, or her father… I went the ex-partner and my youngest two children.

The plan was that while I was away, my eldest daughter and her father have some quality time together. But nope, before I headed out her friends came to the door, then they were off to the library together. So my eldest daughters father just kid of hung out in my home alone. I returned before my eldest daughter did. So that didn’t work out.

It was a little frustrating before leaving to the museum because I had one ex rushing me to get there, and the other taking his time to get to my house to watch my eldest daughter. My eldest daughters father normally doesnt get his ass into gear until after business hours….I remember there was a time I used to be like that at one point in my life. Very strange. It’s like watching my past self in away. Back when weekdays didn’t really matter to me, only the weekends when I saw my eldest children.

So yeah, I finally got to see the Lend an Ear to the Past Exhibit! Been wanting to see it for weeks, and I finally saw it. The flutes made out of bones were so tiny, and neat! Makes you wonder what sound they would make being so small.

Anyways, it was a good day at the museum. Thanks to my ex partner for buying the food. I did however buy myself a t-shirt. Every time I go there I MUST get a souvenir. So I got a grey t-shirt that says “what’s the point?” and it’s got a bunch of arrowheads on it. It’s funny. It makes me smile.

What else? What else? What else? Besides the obvious….court is coming up on the 28th. I am hoping to get custody of my eldest daughter, and close her CAS file for good. If all goes well…the only CAS worker I will be hearing from is my son’s worker, who will remain in contact for the sibling visitations.

I could apply for custody of my eldest son as well while I’m at it, but I’m not sure if he wants to come back home.

Especially after my talk with him at Christmas, and he wasn’t too impressed to hear his father in the background.

I could try, but CAS always tells me that he’s happy where he is.

Even though I still feel like that organization basically kidnapped my son. My children should have been brought directly to thier mother when they were apprehended. The only reason that that didn’t happen is because I am First Nations. I’m not fuckin stupid.

Then CAS places him in a non-native home. Depriving him of his culture and roots. That’s cultural genocide.

But whatever, they seem to think it’s okay. Lets give her one child, but kidnap the other. Convince her that she won’t be able to handle him with a baby and a toddler. Even though I’ve never had problems with him, he was a good kid. Still is a good kid. So I can’t handle him, but I can handle the other? They don’t think that thier mother can get his education caught up, even though if it werent for her attempts to homeschool him while in her care, noone woud have figured out that he was behind in the first place!!! IDIOTS!!

Whatever, they can say whatever. I have it written here. I have my experience shared here for all the public to see.

If London is really serious about reconciliation , give us back our children! Especially to those parents that have jumped your stupid hoops. For what? To be robbed of our children anyways?? Perhaps, just for your amusement? Like, how many other parents, that arent First Nations get refered to programs, and even repeat those programs 2-3 times with certificates that clearly mean squat to this agency?!! Yes, that pisses me the fuck off.

I will be heard. And my voice will echo for ages. I have my story written down, parts of it published in the book “Random Thoughts of an Alien Goddess”. Ya know? It is past due for a sequel.

Breeeeeathe….

But yeah, my worker went on maternity leave early, and now there’s yet another new worker. Pretty sly, but I’m not gonna let these fucks fuck around. This file will close, and this organization will leave my family alone. You are not taking my eldest daughter from me. FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOU!!!!

You fuckin stole my son already, bunch of KIDNAPPERS!!! Child TRAFFICKERS!!! But yeah, I guess they wear those titles pretty proudly. Goofs.

Sorry, court does get me wound up, and this neverending CAS bullshit. Yeah, I need to vent some shit. Makes sense, right? You would need to vent too. It happens every time, the closer a court date comes.

But yeah, I keep it real. This is the kind of discrimnitive shit First Nations deal with. “You did nothing wrong” , but we’ll steal your kid anyways.

YOU FUCKS WILL GET EXPOSED!!!

Breathe….

End rant.

Think of something else….The Kings want me to return up north for another visit within the next couple years. I’m a bit skeptical of that happening, unless some miracle happens and I become financially stress free. But the road of the artist and the writer is usually the hard road. Just create, and everything will be just fine…

Thanks for reading. I sometimes don’t realize how much is built in…piling up…until I write. I don’t really talk much, because noone really listens. But then again, who can relate to that? Writing is the next best thing.

Peace and love – Pooks

Bring on the Sunshine!

Hi again,

So quite a bit has happened within 6 days….

Yesterday my ex partner had his visit with my youngest two children, a Saturday visit. Anyways, they spent thier day and evening at grandpa’s.

I thought that was nice for the kids. It got me thinking about my other 2 children and their grandpa on thier father’s side. At least my youngest two’s grandpa is spending time with them, and is actually inviting them over. My eldest 2 children’s grandpa pretty much waited until he was on his death bed to want any involvement with my eldest children.

Thier father told me how his father used to bug him for money ON OUR DAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY!! I understand why that would be disturbing. As a parent on Ontario Works, the month of a child’s birthday is gonna be pretty darn tight. And well…both of our children’s birthdays are in May. So, yeah. There isn’t any money left to spare, unless you starve the family. So yeah, what the hell was my eldest children’s grandpa thinking?!! Cleary not about them. Smh.

But yeah, quite the difference between families and thier choices. That’s just an interesting observation.

And my eldest children’s father’s half family wonders why he nor his daughter went to grandpa’s funeral. My eldest daughter was invited, and I did ask her if she wanted to go. Her response was a very logical response; “Why? I don’t know the guy.”

Anyways, my youngest two came back from thier day/evening out with thier dad and grandpa sleeping. Lol They were tuckered out. So thank my ex partner and his family for giving them a good day out.

My baby boy was exhausted. On Saturday he woke up at 6:30am, and if he didn’t nap that whole time…it’s no wonder he was out like a light. Lol

I am just thankful that my youngest children’s grandpa isn’t making the same mistake, and actually takes the time and makes an effort to spend time with his grandchildren. Thank you.

Besides that, I got 2 emails that made my day. One being from the Executive Director from Museum London inviting me to submit work into the next Pride Art Show and Sale. AWESOME!! So I will need to work on something for that. I still have time. Lol Say that in the voice of Mr. Incredible. Haha! But yeah, I will have to get painting to submit something before the deadline; May 31st. However, I am very excited that I had received an invitation.

Even though… I never did pick up last year’s painting that I submitted. My painting on a saw. So that’s floating around somewhere in London, ON. If you find it, keep it. Give it a lovely home. It’s kinda hard to for a mom to carry around with a toddler and baby.

I also submitted a charcoal drawing to be published on Modern Metis Woman’s Instagram page. She does contests, and the winner that gets most likes gets $100. There’s some amazing talent out there. So yeah, I’d be honored just to have my work displayed along side them.

What else? Oh yeah, I spoke with my eldest daughters father about editing my sci-fi story that I am working on. So whenever it reaches that point, he’ll edit the grammar and add a more extensive vocabulary.

Shortly after I shared the news that I found an editor, an Editor/ Publisher messaged me on Twitter offering thier services. AWESOME. So after my story gets touched up my my eldest daughters father, it can go to her and maybe she can edit it professionally and publish it. That’s what she does. So yeah! Definitely a contact I will be staying in touch with.

I haven’t been able to upload new work to Redbubble ever since I switched things on my cell phone to be downloaded or uploaded directly from my SD card, rather than straight from the device. So that might be the technical hiccup I am experiencing…but yeah. I’ll figure out what’s up eventually.

What else? Since my Twitter account has been through some changes and split into 2, Pooks82Official, and pooks82writer. One more art focused. The other more focused on writing and poetry…. yeah. Since that change, I registered myself back into the Twitter Art Exhibit. That means, I have to whip up a small art piece real fast, and mail it off to Scotland! It can be done! ✊

Anyways, overall, I think life is pretty good.

My eldest daughter is excited for Wednesday, she finally gets to visit her big brother whom she hasn’t seen since December 28th. She plans to take the Christmas gifts we got for him with her to the visit. Or at least, as many as she can.

Other than that, my toddler turns 3 years old this month!! Wow. Where has time gone? My Lil Pudge will be 3. Next year I believe she starts Kindergarten. So yeah, why bother trying to get her into daycare when she’ll be in Kindergarten next year? However, I should try to prepare her a bit. The public library has a lot of programs, and maybe we’ll start attending a play group again. My baby boy is even bigger now that he can participate. Somewhat. Lol. I think they’ll have fun.

I was trying to do the playgroup thing at Cherryhill library in the past, but yeah…consistency…Not an exact strength of mine.

Also I need to update my bus card, as in, get it reactivated. I probably should have done that in January or February…but…yeah. Haven’t done so yet. It’s getting all the documents and ID together, and blah blah blah. Boring stuff. But it needs to be done if I want to get out more…especially with Spring coming. We will definitely get out more when the warmer weather arrives.

We’re like a hibernating family of bears. We’ll be back out in the Spring. Lol It really does seem that way. 🐻

Anyways, yes, I am definitely looking forward to warmer weather, Spring, flowers, the colour green….more festivals through Spring, and Summer…more random unpredictable walks…and I look forward to taking my son out to fields to practice walking as I’ve done with his siblings. So yes, bring on the Sunshine! I’m ready! 😎

Thanks for reading!! Until next time…peace and love! – Pooks

“You have the ability to quickly change your patterns of thought, and eventually your life experience.”

Abraham Hicks

Internal Reflection

Hi again,

Yeah, more than one blog post today. Lots to share! 😃

I’ll start off with a gift I got my eldest daughters father from my Redbubble shop. I got him a poster to put on his wall at his new place of an art piece that he was asking for. The original is in a book. So yeah, he’ll have to settle for a printed copy. I think it turned out pretty good! I’m impressed!

Anyways…why this particular image? You ask. Well… not only because he was originally asking for the original, but because of his reaction to it. It makes him angry for some reason, and I guess he wants to confront that emotion and understand it.

That’s not the usual reaction my viewers get from my art, so I am intrigued by the reaction. Is it the middle finger? The mask? The two faces peeking from behind?

The art piece itself is titled “All in One”. I tend to have some art pieces that express a duality. Feminine and Masculine. That both co-exist. There can’t be one without the other. Like how light ceases to exist without the dark to contrast it. Both are to be accepted within everyone.

The mask… the not so human entity in the center that doesn’t really have eyes or a face behind it, but the universe. That too resembles us in a way. I think there is more to us than we can yet comprehend.

But yeah, that’s the meaning behind the drawing. But everyone’s perception of things are different. And whatever my eldest daughters father is reminded of, or thinks, or relates the image to…it’s an internal reflection of something that makes him angry. Very interesting.

Anyways, I hope he enjoys the gift, and that it doesn’t drive him mad. Lol That is not my intention. When he said he wanted to cope and understand why this specific art piece makes him feel that way, I’m on board. I hope it helps him discover something about himself. And kudos to him for wanting to face it.

My Redbubble shop has lots of stuff. Unfortunately, the site won’t allow me to add anymore art. So what’s there is there. There is a range of stuff that my art can be printed on at Redbubble. For example; posters, gift cards, post cards, t-shirts, duvet covers, leggings, coffee mugs, clocks, etc.

https://www.redbubble.com/people/Pooks82

Anyways, while I am still on the topic of art. My daughters have been very creative lately, and I would like to share their work here as well.

Painting by Lily

Painting by Lily

Painting by Lily

Painting by Lily

Drawing by Kota

Chalk Pastel drawing by Kota

So much talent! I am one proud mommy! 😊 Anyways…thank you reading!

Peace and love! – Pooks

“What the mind doesn’t understand, it worships or fears.”- Alice Walker

Becomes a Masterpiece

Hi again!

I forgot to share my latest drawing from my sketchbook…

But then again, I think I will only share a portion of it here, since it will be in the next issue of Synaeresis: Arts & Poetry Online magazine.

It’s pretty cool when you share your work to the public, and you get an offer to have your work published. AWESOME! This isn’t the first time, so I consider myself pretty lucky for gaining a fan that gives an artist, writer, or photographer exposure. That helps an artist, like myself, get their work out there. So when offers like that come along, accept and be extremely grateful to have made that connection.

Andreas Conell Gripp is a good person to have on your side when it comes to business, and marketing. Especially for those that seek free exposure of thier work. Not only does your work get combined with other talented works by other people, thus creating an impressive collection of art. The Online magazine becomes a masterpiece filled with various forms of art. So I support that, and enjoy being included.

So far…my work has been in issues… #3, 4, and 6. My latest sketch from my sketchbook will be in issue #7. So keep your eyes peeled. 👀🍌Lol.

In the meantime, you can check out the recent release, and past issues at…

https://andreasgripp.wixsite.com/synaeresis

Thanks for reading!

Peace and love! – Pooks

Traveling By

Hi again!

Ever sit down quietly, and suddenly it’s like a song gets in your head? Like a thought, or wave traveling by. As cars drive by…you hear their engines, the sound they make as they roll by…wheels against the pavement. It’s short, and fades away. It travels by.

Well I just had a moment like that while I was sitting on my step in the backyard, with my coffee and smoke. The song wasn’t coming from a car. It was in my head. Big difference.

Anyways, the song I heard was by Bob Marley. I enjoy his music, but don’t listen to it often. Just on an odd occasion. Which is why it’s so bizarre that I heard Bob Marley.

Anyways, the song that traveled by, like a thought or wave whisping by like the wind was “Everything is gonna be alright” by Bob Marley.

I just thought I should share that moment. And the song. So here it is. Enjoy!

Peace and love! – Pooks

https://youtu.be/OD3F7J2PeYU