Hi again,
I caught the cold that has been going around the shelter, a sinus congestion cold. It really hurts. It sucks being sick when your pregnant because you can’t take any medicine for it besides Tylenol.
It’s been a busy week regardless, and today I don’t have anything scheduled so I actually get a day off. Yaaay!
This week the CAS worker came by and threw quite the curve ball. She said that they will make my son a crown ward, instead of a society ward as planned. They think that it is pointless to have a 6 month trial run with a foster family, and are looking for something more permanent for my son. This news was very upsetting to me, however at that moment in time, I managed to hold it together. I cried afterward as I spoke to a friend about it.
I think both Vanier and CAS are giving a 12 year old big decisions that he doesn’t really realize the true outcome of it.
Vanier hasn’t helped me “mend” the bond once so ever with my son. It was all talk, no action. I feel like they nurture him with the word “yes”, because they want to avoid his reaction or response to the word no. So yeah, I disapproved of his rude behavior and called it out ( March 25th, 2017), and I’m shut out for life. I’m just doing my job as a freakin parent! And it’s like Vanier expects his caregivers to be emotionless. Yeah, there’s things my kids do sometimes that will upset me, that’s life!! But I can’t react. I can’t respond. Only my son had that option. Do you see what they’re doing?? I find it disturbing. And to take my chances away like that?? Because he “refuses ” to see me.
Wither that is true or not, I am his mother and I have every right to see my son. He wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for me. I chose to not abort him, I chose not to put him in foster care (as his father wished) when he was a baby. I chose to be his mother because he IS my child!
I’m the one that went to numerous parenting groups, and took him to tyke talk and whatever CAS requested for him. I’d go above and beyond. It’s not my fault his father slacked for the last 5 years. CAS put my son in his care in the first place! And now suddenly, we’re both unqualified parents. Even though I did nothing wrong!!! I just have a son that can’t take no for an answer just like his father.
Anyways, I saw my lawyer yesterday. I told him about the sudden change, and he said that he wasn’t too happy that CAS went ahead with those changes without discussing those changes with him first. So yeah, he said he would call the worker.
What else? I got my 2016 taxes done. Apparently I owe arrears to London Middlesex Housing AND First Nations Housing Co-op. I only owed $285 to LMHC. The shelter helped me get a loan to cover that. However, First Nation Housing Co-op say I owe $2087. Which is why I did my taxes. If I can get my Child Benefits off hold, then I might be able to cover the rest of my arrears that I owe with that, and maybe my housing application will finally be processed. It’s been over a month, and we are fortunate that the shelter has extended the days were allowed to stay here.
I got a prenatal appointment tomorrow. It was originally booked for Monday, but since I got hit with this cold, I’ve been trying to fight it off all week.
Anyways, that’s my update. It’s just been road block after road block. It’s getting kind of annoying, but I’m still trying. And maybe all my efforts will have something to show for it eventually, who knows. You know? I can’t be jumping all these hurdles for nothing. There’s gotta be something at the other end of this shit storm waiting. In the meantime, I got to remain strong and believe I can get through all this.
Thanks for reading. Peace and love! – Pooks