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Peace & Love,
Pooks
Know enough
With my guard set up
Way up than before
I will use these words to express the truth
In black and white I will spread the awareness
He’s a woman terrorizer
And a child abuser
Hacking FB years ago, now Tax accounts
Falsely reporting cellphones as lost or stolen
Memorizing iemi and IP numbers
All your personal information
Don’t trust him
He will put you through hell
He’s a backstabbing two-faced pathological liar
He will only hurt you
I let my guard down too many times
Forgave, too many times
Let him back into my life, too many times
Only to be taken for a fool
A fool to steal from
A fool to take from
A fool because he’s still talking trash
NO MORE
Fuck this narcissistic chauvinistic pig
This pig that can’t take no for an answer
This pig that can’t take accountability
Let alone responsibility for any of his actions
NO MORE
I will warn you all
About this evil man that plays innocent
He preys on women
With this Pygmalion fantasy that he can change a prostitutes way of life
That they will drop the lifestyle for him
Wither or not, doesn’t matter if you are or not
All women are whores in his mind
They are – all crazy
They are – all bitter
He’s like a little boy looking for his mother
So so
codependent
Needing a woman to take care of him
So so
that he can pretend he’s a teenager
So He says I know shit
But I know enough
To never
Ever
Let it repeat once more
NO MORE
Permanently close that door
Permanently end this mother fuckin war!
Poetry by Pooks
So today’s been a really rough day. I’m sure you’ve noticed via. Social Media. My attitude has gotten very dark.
Well, rather then letting that darkness destroy me, how about we use it to shed the light on what brought forth that darkness within.
First there was the Housing Co-OP and them saying they were missing information, but weren’t. I’ll get into detail about that later. Just a bunch of nonsense of getting me to jump hoops for thier own amusement.
No no no…. I want to focus on the bigger demon that presents itself as smiling women that supposedly protect the well-being of children.
Yes, you got it. I am talking about London’s Children Aid Society!! Those whom have been following my blog, know that I have been dealing with them for years.
Well… today I got the news that they will be adding yet ANOTHER 6 month supervision order. Ya know? Instead of closing the file as promised, those gold digging fuck faces that are just profiting off of families and children. So yes bad news.
Then they tell me that I haven’t applied for custody of my daughter, and that when they do close the file, my daughter will go to her father. Despite all reasons of the apprehension in the first place. Wow. They do such a wonderful job protecting children, lets put them back where we apprehended them from. Forget all the reasons. Swipe it under the carpet. Seriously?! Are you kidding me?? What kind of sick twisted organization are you??
K. If you ask me, I think the case worker that put my eldest children in thier fathers care in the first place for 5 years, should be paying (Not me), but my children 5 years of her income for putting them through 5 years of abuse and neglect. My daughter told me that her brother remembers his father smashing his head into a wall. My daughter remembers her father grabbing her by the ear and dragging her up the stairs. She remembers starving because her father slept all day. So yeah, now they say that things will go back to the way they were before, if I dont file for custody???
I talked to my lawyer about this months ago, and of coarse he did Jack shit. But I bring it up again, to remind him and his receptionist, and she says I filed for custody in 2012. Yes, it’s been that long that this has been going on. Anyways, apparently my lawyer is on vacation, and the receptionist isn’t sure if we can even file for custody again in time. Like, what in the bloody fuck??
Anyways, if my daughter ends up back in the home she was apprehended from, then this organization obviously isn’t about the child’s protection, or best interest. This organization is a bunch of criminals that profit on thier suffering. They put them in harm’s way. So yeah, shouldn’t an organization like that be shut down? That’s not doing any good for my child. Heck, they already stole my eldest son. Yeah, they need to be shut down. Fuck them!
I filed for custody already, YEARS AGO! and apparently its conveniently not in thier file. Well la Dee da. Then why have I been appearing in court every court date if I didn’t want the custody of my child.
I am sick of thier games. And yeah, I am exposing them for the scum that they are.
My daughter clearly said it today during the house meeting, that she does not want to live with her father, he can barely even take care of himself.
As for my lawyer, my neighbor says that he just lets cases slide and lives off of the legal aid payments. Really? Is that true?? If not, now is the time to prove to me otherwise!!
Speaking of organizations. Back to the Housing Co-OP. Yep, I get emails from OW stating that the Housing Coop is going to raise my rent based on not receiving my Annual Review. Well… I know they got it. I gave it to my neighbor to hand deliver since he walks his dog regularly. And I emailed him to confirm that he did. And he clearly remembers doing so. So they have it. Note, it included my Notice of Assessment. Then they say they need “Line 150” from my tax return. I did my taxes online, and didn’t get all the papers back. It goes directly to CRA. so I had to call CRA for that measly number. I get it, pass it on. It’s not enough. Now they want the whole form that Line 150 was on. While I was on the phone with CRA, they said they dont do that. They just mail out the NOA. So I log onto the CRA app. And guess what?? I see that Line 150 is on the NOA!!! THE HOUSING COOP ALREADY HAS MY NOA, SO WHY THE FUCK AM I BEING ASKED TO DO ALL THIS?!! All they need is the NOA. So yeah, excuse me if I am annoyed. But I cant help but feel discriminated. Ya know? So sick of these stupid power tripping games organizations play. You all disgust me!!
Let’s rant some more! My eldest daughter visits her father, supervised at Namerind now. And they have contact online through Discord. Apparently hes still talking shit about me. Still lying about what happened in 2010 when he assaulted me. He is telling my daughter that I went all monkey like and jumped on his back. And scratched his face. No. I scratched his face while he was choking me on the futon mattress that was on the floor. I was trying to get him off me. That was after he pushed me into the wicker shelf. The shelves broke as I crashed into them. He picked me up by the hair and dragged me to the futon mattress and choked me. The bruises didn’t show until the day after, but if my kids really want to see what their father did, the police should have still those pictures in thier files.
Not only that, but he keeps telling my daughter the S5 phone that he reported the iemi number as stolen, and is pretty much useless now as a phone because of that…he keeps telling her that I got it from Ebay. I dont shop off of Ebay. I shop from Amazon. And he has the nerve to say that I dont know what I’m talking about?? I know when and where I got that phone. In 2013 when I was going to University I bought an S4 from Telus at Masonville Mall. However, I lost that phone on my way to visit my son when he was at Vanier. A couple years later. So I replaced it at the same place that I got my S4. They gave me an upgrade, the S5.
Psh… Ebay. How would he know this shit? He wasn’t around me in 2013. But “HE KNOWS ALL!!”
I wish he would stop flapping his fat lips! So, he wants to talk trash. K. Let’s share some truth. Does this Crystal woman that hes so obsessed with know that he spoke to me about killing her. Oh yeah. He was planning. Spreading rotten mayonnaise on her doorknobs, or in her ventilation system. Of coarse I’m sick of hearing that shit!! I dont care about thier drama. It doesn’t make any fuckin sense to me. It all sounds like stupidity to me. But if he wants to talk trash, I will combat it with sharing some truth.
Also, wither or not it’s true that he had a baby with this Bre women ( there’s some fucked up love triangle), it’s not my head hes messing with. It’s our daughters. He told her that supposed lie. And as I told her, with all his lying it’s hard to tell when hes telling the truth. It’s THAT bad.
I mean she already sees that he doesn’t take accountability for his actions. Like the time he took our daughter to the store and started trash talking about me. She told me in front of him, and of coarse, he denied it. That really upset her. Anyways, I believe her over him.
So yeah, the more she tells me how much trash hes talking, the less I ever want to talk to him again. What a 2 faced piece of shit. Again, I have been deceived like a complete idiot. He does not deserve my kindness, he deserves nothing from me. No attention. No money. No smokes. No gifts. No clothes. No friendship. Nothing. He’s shit.
But yeah, today was a rough day. A day filled with lots of buuuuulllllshit! And yeah, do London Ontario Families a favor, shut CAS down. They do more damage than good.
Peace and love – Pooks
Hi again!
Wow. We’re already into August! Summer is just flying on by.
Anyways, the last time I wrote here, it was July 22ond. Since then…
There was a CAS home meeting. Pretty much just giving an update, and the worker needs to check in with my eldest daughter, as usual. Same old same old. Just close the file already, shes doing fine. Sorry for being a little snarky about it, but CAS and the court should see by now how not involved in the court proceedings my eldest children’s father is. Rather then dragging our case on and on for profit, making as much money as possible from my family by keeping this case open, close it! Grant me Sole Custody, because clearly the father will not even take the responsibility of participating in the legal matters regarding his child. He pretty much gave up after his son became a crown ward. He said long ago, he’s done. He’s out.
Anyone can see that I am being dicked around by the system. They just take their precious time and prolong it. There’s only one reason for that, money. Fuck off and give me my child already! So sick of being stuck in this game. They say it keeps being dragged on because the father needs to “respond”. No he doesn’t. And no he wont. So let’s move the fuck on. Seriously, how many more years do they want this to go on for? Err… so annoying. It’s not rocket science. It’s a pretty transparent case. So yeah, I dont care how high and mighty and powerful they all think they are, cut the crap. Come the Settlement Conference in September, I want this closed.
Anyways, the FFIP worker from Namerind mentioned that she will be leaving soon. And the other worker will take her place at the meetings until they can find a replacement. She will be returning to school, so yeah, good luck and best wishes to wherever her passions take her. She will be missed.
The meeting went well. My eldest daughter gets a little snarky with the workers, but I think she too is getting pretty sick of this nonsense.
Other than that, the meeting went well, AS USUAL!
However, the CAS worker said she passed on my letter to my eldest sons worker, and she said it made her tear up. It’s a beautiful letter. It’s basically an attempt to invite my eldest son out for a family visit. So he can meet his little brother, and see his little sister again that he hasn’t seen since she was a year old. Plus my eldest daughter would be there too, even though they weren’t getting along in May or June. Geez, I cant even remember when their last visit was. They didn’t have a visit in June because an agreement on location wasn’t made. And my eldest daughter kept demanding to be able to bring her little sister. Like she thinks her eldest brother’s behavior and his workers behavior will be different if she has a toddler present. Smart kid. But with a toddler present, that would take all attention off eachother and on the wellbeing and safety of my toddler. So if she really wants to bring her little sister, then why not let it be a family thing? Let me chase my little toddlers around. Lol That way, her and her brother still get time together, and he meets his younger siblings at the same time.
Anyways, I have not heard a response back from my attempt of reaching out to my eldest son through the letter. But it was worth a shot either way. It would be nice to see him again. It has been 2 years.
What else? Not last Thursday, but the one before, my eldest daughter invited 2 of her friends to come with us to the New School of Colour. I thought it was a good idea to try to bring New School of Colour back to life with more youth. To introduce more young minds to an environment of creativity and inspiration. Turns out, it wasn’t such a good idea after all and we will not be returning.
I mean, when we got there, the Facilitator made us feel so unwelcomed. He was saying that the 2 new kids we brought parent should have been there with them. Way to make them welcomed! They actually behaved really well. Once they were all set up, they dove right in.
My toddlers however start to get cranky around 2pm. This program starts at 1:30pm. They normally nap at 3pm.
Anyways, my younger daughter was having fun, and accidentally splattered paint onto one of the other girls painting. She said it was okay, she’ll work with it. But the Facilitator freaked out. He grabbed a wash cloth, normally to wipe the tables and tried to clean my younger daughter up. She wasn’t done painting yet, so she started to scream!! It must’ve been so scary for her for how rough he was being. For how forceful he was being. He had her blocked against the wall. So she screamed and screamed. And he started to become more aggressive and intolerant. He said she was no longer welcomed there anymore. I was devastated. Shocked. Because saying my child is no longer welcome, is like saying I am no longer welcomed. I started to pack up and get ready to go, and cued the girls to follow. The Facilitator literally physically carried my screaming toddler outside the building.
Nope. The New School of Colour definitely isn’t what it used to be. It’s not a welcome to all kind of place anymore. The current Facilitator killed that. Hes far too controlling. And creativity cannot thrive in an overly controlled environment. Creativity is messy. Creativity is spontaneous.
Ya know? He was freaking out about the splattered paint. When I used to go there years ago, and it was busy with all sorts of people. Paint would splatter. The tables were always getting bumped. Here’s the thing that that taught me. Art cannot be “ruined”, it transforms. When paint splattered onto my work, I learned to work those splatters into the peice as if they were always meant to be there. And maybe they were. That’s the magic of art, its unpredictable. It creates itself.
The New School of Colour now, is basically for elderly people that need very little guidance. It’s not busy and alive as it used to be. You have to work quietly in your little corner. Copy images from books. It’s no wonder it’s not as successful as it used to be. The magic of imagination and creativity are gone.
Whatever you do, DO NOT bring your kids there. I think it was a very traumatizing experience for my little girl. I should have never gone back. And I should have never brought my kids there. The Facilitator clearly isn’t good with kids.
Now I gotta figure out how I’m gonna get my kids art work back without having to interact with the Facilitator, or bring my kids back. The Ark Aid Street Mission wont bring me their paintings. So I need to figure something else out.
I could ask my childrens fathers, but one I am trying to distance myself from, and the other is at work during their business hours. The only one that could is the one I am trying to get some space from.
I am never going back there. The more I think about it, it upsets me. Like the Facilitator wouldn’t do this to another person’s child, why is it okay to disrespect mine? Shes only 3 years old jackass!
If you ask me, hes unfit to be a Facilitator of an art program. Sure I may be one of the people that supported to have him as a Facilitator back in the day. Back when he seemed passionate about that position, like that’s what he wanted to do with his life. Not anymore. You can tell he hates the job. So yeah, either shut it down, or pass on the torch to someone understands what it takes to build a community and is friendly and good at building relationships with a wide range of people. They need a people person to facilitate that program, the current Facilitator is not a people person.
Anyways, yeah. The last visit there was clearly an eye opener. And that maybe I should look for other places for my children, and their friends, to be creative. The New School of Colour is not kid friendly environment. Not anymore. It looks like they even lost their connections with University Students that used to volunteer to help within the studio.
Its disappointing to see such a wonderful program go down the drain like that. But yeah, walk away and move on. I’ll find another place more geared to families and community.
Who knows.. I never did make it to the Art Hive when it was up and running at Re-Imagine Co. But maybe, it might be brought back to life in the future. There’s still hope that a free art community can exist within this city.
Anyways, enough of that. It’s in the past. And yeah, I dont want to be stuck there. So moving on.
My eldest daughters father started his visits with his daughter through Namerind. It’s kind of nice to be out of the picture. I dont want to be hanging out with an ex every single freaking day. No thank you. Plus, its obvious hes still wishy washy in the head. Supposedly the baby thing was a lie. But I’m just a crazy and bitter and don’t know what I’m talking about. Right? Maybe because the shit he says doesn’t make any freaking sense! So yeah, I dont want to hear about his pointless drama anymore. Dont care. Shut the hell up! And Keep it away from the kids and I. Keep us out of your addict & hooker land.
Thank the workers for setting up access elsewhere and no longer through me.
But yeah, hes got his visits with our daughter. She seemed to enjoy the last visit. Right on. Access can be possible without blabbing my ears off, and taking and taking and taking from me. There is no need to enter my home. I will let him see his daughter. Ya know? Just focus on your time with her, and not me and what you can get or steal from me. I got a family to raise.
Anyways, enough about him.
At least the father of my youngest children isn’t like that. It’s not like I interact with him every day. Just during pick ups and drop offs mostly. Sometimes I’ll get a text during the week. Just silly stuff to make me laugh. Like pictures that reminds him of our children, or funny videos from FB.
Our kids come back happy from their visits. So yeah, it’s going well.
I guess he locks his food in his bedroom now, so that his roommate isn’t eating the food he gets for our kids anymore. Which makes sense, hes buying the groceries for his kids, not to feed this grown man of a roommate that should be able to go out and get his own.
He has been looking for a new place, and thinks the best price that suits his budget for rentals is on the east end. So if and when he does move east, well have to arrange a half way point for drop off and pick ups. I think it will be okay. Our daughter loves going on the bus. Lol Its an adventure every time!
Anyways…the kids and I went Blueberry picking at Parks Country Store. It was crazy. I had 2 cranky hot toddlers that seemed to have taken turns with the hissyfits. However, I am thankful for Namerind for taking us out on the trip anyways. It was good to get out of the city for awhile, and picked quite abit of blueberries thanks to my daughters. However, once my son got extremely cranky. Yeah, it was time to get out of the open field, and out of the heat. Little man needed to cool down, and he was refusing to drink his apple juice. We all went inside for lunch. I used the gift card to order lunch. Once my little boy devoured his pizza and chocolate milk, he was fine.
My eldest daughter went Blueberry picking again through the Akwego program. Thank you Namerind again. I’m sure it was a little more relaxing for her without her little tantruming siblings. Lol
We went to the Childrens Museum on Thursday for the TD Free Family Fun Night. The kids had a blast. There was lots of activities for them to get their imaginations going. I loved it. Finally, a place for kids where they are allowed to be just that, kids. Even my 11 year old had fun. My little ones slept real good that night.
This weekend my youngest 2 went to their fathers, and visited other family members in Saturday.
Meanwhile, on Saturday, my eldest daughter and I went to Grand Bend for a day on the beach all thanks to the Bend Bus. It was lots of fun. It’s been so long since I’ve been to a beach, and I am glad I got to share that experience with my eldest daughter. We spent hours in the water. And we even went out for lunch and treated ourselves to some poutine and beaver tails.
When we got back home we had fire in the backyard and roasted hotdogs and marshmallows. It was a great day.
Anyways, my two youngest children return home today. Their father has to work a half day on the Civic Holiday. But we agreed that he can pick them up again when he’s off work tomorrow. Normally if his weekend visits land on a long weekend, his visits gets extended. But since hes gotta work, we gotta work with that schedule.
Yeah, summer is almost over. And I seem to be less focused on my art, and more focused on creating memories for my children before summer ends.
I could use a break from art anyways. My current creative projects have more to do with writing anyways. A fictional story, and a collection of poetry. Something I can pick up, and work on in small breaks. Since during the summer, I have no time to myself. So yeah, no time to paint. Unless I want to stay up all night. But honestly, when schools out, this mom needs her rest because shes working overtime in the summer. Not to mention, I dont have to clean up a mess and put things away. Writing is just more accessible as opening and closing an app. Bam! Write 5 minutes, back to Mommy life in seconds!
Anyways, my fiction story has 3 pages. I have to start over because I lost what I originally had.
As for my collection of poetry is up to 19 pages already. So yeah, in one form or another, I will be imagining, and creating.
Anyway, I shall end it there. Thank you for reading! Peace and love! – Pooks
Pooks82-TheVault 