Called Out

Hi again!

It looks like I’m blogging again, much sooner than usual. But a certain hater clearly is calling me out and wants my attention…

Wish granted.

However, as I said before numerous times, if you want to be written about in my blog in a positive light, than be a positive in my life. She sure as hell isn’t that.

Now, I am trying to move on with my life, raise my kids, get my art out there, mind my own p’s and q’s…but Melishee continues to be butt hurt over shit that happened 2 years ago. When I kicked our friendship to the curb.

Let me refreshen some memories…she came to the hospital uninvited to a very private milestone in my life, the birth of my youngest daughter. As an introvert, yeah, this was meant to be a private matter. No I dont want supposed friends there staring at my bloody vagina ripping open. No. So that was a personal boundary that she crossed.

Then since she couldn’t get a hold of me online, text, or phone calls, she harassed my now ex-partner with a shit ton of messages. Something she does alot to people. And has done to me in the past. I remember getting to almost 20-50 text messages of ranting because we were in a dispute. I’d have to turn my phone off.

Not to mention, being her bestfriend was taking a toll on my mental health. She’s like a vampire, but sucks energy.

She would ask for advice regarding her on and off relationship with this bus driver. And no matter what I said, (I tried supporting the relationship, and even tried agreeing with her that hes no good) she’d deliberately rebel against it either way. So damned if you do, damned if you don’t. What kind of friend does that? Ya know? You’re walking on eggshells around her. She can go find someone else to rebel against. Because honestly, I’m done with her.

Now, for a year…for the time I was with my ex-partner, and went from homeless to having a home again…she resurfaced. Bitter that I’m not her friend. Ya know? Just suddenly, bam! Here we go again.

She’s been retweeting shit about haters, and jealousy…like I’m the one that’s hating and that’s jealous of her. Lmao. Trust me. I’m not. She has nothing I want. How could I be jealous of that fuckin thing? In fact, I’m doing pretty well on my own. So if anyone is jealous, it’s her.

And to bring me up in these current events…I’m already not impressed her and this group of people are targeting Bravetube, Mike Sloane, and myself. Yeah, they’re very outspoken, but they’re passionate. I can respect that even if others misunderstand that.

Sometimes when people seem angry about certain topics, it just means they’re passionate.

Anyways, what I don’t get is why she obsesses over me. I mean, she’s never treated any of her other “bestfriends” the way she does towards me. What makes me so special to deserve this treatment?

Because I wrote the truth, that she is denying. Heck, she tries to convince others that it was her that walked away. Lol Nuh uhhh…

As for all this making a stand against online trolls and harassment b.s that her and Marci Easton are flipping thier mouths off about…They’re guilty of that shit themselves. Birds of a feather, flock together…just saying.

Melishee, created a fake account (blahbb1987) to harass bravetube through DM’s. But she won’t mention that, will she? Nor will her friend Marci who is aware of that account. You’d think she would be more concerned that her friend has created a fake identity. Clearly her mental health is disturbing. But no, she enables it, and that behavior.

And the only reason Marci followed me for a short period of time was to TROLL!! Once she realized that she couldnt convince to me hate bravetube, she blocked me.

So yeah, dont buy into thier “Stand against online trolls and harassment”They are guilty of it. Heck, look at the way Melishee is behaving online with all her screencaps publicly displaying her targets photos and identities. If you ask me, THAT right there is the behavior of an online bully.

I am not interested in being Melishee’s friend, for obvious reasons… I just want her to fuck off. I want to focus on my children, without having to worry that there’s this obsessed stalker trolling my every move.

For awhile there…I couldn’t communicate with anyone online without her harassing the very people I interacted with shortly after. Yeah, I noticed, and apologized to the people she harassed like it was my fault, but it wasn’t.

Mentally, I don’t know what her problem is. Maybe change is hard for her, but shit changes all the time. No one has control over that.

Maybe she misses the way things used to be. Well, things aren’t going to be like that anymore. I can’t give her that much time and attention, that’s what my children need of me now. So yeah, those days are over.

There were some good times. I won’t deny that.

But there were also some very negative times as well, that I would much rather go on without.

Walking away was self care for me. Respecting myself. And I’m not going back. I like where I am. It’s been my goal to get here for so many years. To have my children with me. I may not have my eldest son, but that’s okay. He’s doing well where he is. No point in uprooting him again. He’s been through alot, and deserves peace.

Just as I deserve peace. I don’t deserve any of this behavior lashed out on me. Although, she tends to think I deserve punishment. Punishment for what? Not sticking around and putting up with more bullshit and drama?

No. Just no.

So yeah, she called me out, and another blog post she got. If you ask me, she is immortalizing herself as a psycho.

Thanks for reading.

Peace and love – Pooks

“Mental Health is not a pass”

– Marci Easton

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Before I call it a Night

Hi again!

Last Sunday we celebrated my eldest daughters birthday, even though her birthday was actually on Monday. Anyways, its hard to believe that she is 10 years old.

I can still remember when she was born. 8lbs 8ozs. She’s my smallest baby. Lol Pretty big, but the smallest out of mine. Her big brother was 9lbs 5oz. Her little sister was 10lbs 11oz. And her little brother was 8 lbs 10ozs.

Anyways, I am glad this years birthday was alot better than her 9 year old birthday party, when only one friend showed up. This year, she invited our neoghbors over, and she got a visit from someone that we met when we were at Anova. Thank her so much for showing up.

Also, thank my good art friend, for calling my daughter and making her laugh. You are AWESOME!

Anyways, I am glad she enjoyed her birthday.

On her actual birthday, she said many fellow students wished her a happy birthday during recess. AWESOME.

After she got out of school, I had to go top up my transit smart card, and drop off court papers to my lawyers office. We had fun along the way. For example, we played a game as we walked to our destinations. I yell, THE GROUND IS LAVA!! And she runs off trying and tries to climb trees, walls etc, just to get off the ground. Lol

After that, I took her to her first drama class that I signed her up for theough Spectrum. For the first day, they played games.

What else?

On Wednesday I dropped off my art at the Fringe Custom Framing and Art Gallery. So my submission is complete, and those 10 6Γ—6 inch paintings I did will be in the exhibit.

The show runs from June 1st- June 30th. Opening reception will be on June 2ond from 6pm to 9pm.

In other art news, I took a suggestion from an anonymous supporter and brought it to life. So now my art is on every day products, available to purchase online at…

http://www.pooks82.threadless.com

The images are just some examples. Trust me, there’s so much more!

What else?

The Public health nurse closed my baby boys file, he’s healthy, his weight is up to where it should be, and he’s reaching all of his milestones like a superstar.

So yeah, one worker down. 2 more to go. However, CAS did say the file on my baby boy is closed. So now CAS is only involved in regards of my eldest daughter. As I said before, the file is under my eldest daughters fathers name.

Speaking of him, he did try to text me from another number, and I just blocked it. Like, dude! You called me a pedophile, and now you’re acting like I’m supposed to be okay with that. No. I’m not okay with that. Who would be? So yeah, he can call CAS regarding access.

I didn’t mention how his father wanted to arrange a visit with my eldest daughter. Anyways, I asked my daughter what she thought, and she said sure, but not if his wifes present.

To make a long story short, he died. So that explains why he wanted to see his granddaughter. But unfortunately, his wife is quite the barrier.

Today has been a baby and me day. My eldest daughter had her visit with her brother today, and when she got back, she went to go play with some friends. Now shes at a sleepover.

My youngest daughter is visiting her father this weekend. However, I can pick her up early tomorrow because tomorrow is Mothers Day. Or I should say today…because it’s 2:03am.

But yeah, I enjoyed the quiet day. And soon I’m going to enjoy getting some rest.

So tired. I think I will end this post right here ☞. Lol I keep dozing off. So yeah, bedtime for me. Good night!

Peace and love! – Pooks

The Tenant and Board Director

Hi again.

I don’t normally write blogs of what is outside of myself. But I feel I have to say something.

On May 2ond I responded to a tweet on Twitter by a woman claiming to stand up against online trolls and social media harassment. She’s on the Board of directors of LMSH.

Anyways, originally, I only commented regarding my female online troll on Twitter. I know they are friends, and I basically asked her why does she claim to stand up against online trolls and social media harassment when her good friend is guilty of it? Not only that but she is clearly aware of her friends behavior because she’s added as a friend on this particular trolls fake account (Blahbb1987). Does that behavior not concern her? Of course not. She enables it.

However, she never responded about that. Instead… she brought up one of my followers who happens to be a tenant of LMSH. I guess she was freaking out over one of his teeets. HOWEVER, his tweet may or may not have been about her, I would have never known had she not made a big ordeal over it. He didn’t give names to whom he was referring to. So he was just expressing himself, and keeping her identity anonymous.

But no wonder her and my female troll are friends. Same shit. You could write something that keeps them anonymous, but they are soooo freakin stupid, they put a huge spotlight on themselves all like; HEY EVERYONE, THATS ABOUT ME! Stupid. 😐

I’m a victim! I’m a victim! No you weren’t!! And if his tweet is false claims, then why the hell is she freaking out about it? Clearly he must have struck some cord of truth, otherwise she wouldn’t be reacting the way she is.

So everything from then on could have been prevented had she just kept on scrolling.

But no no no, she makes a big deal over it, and acts like a child. So much so that she not only threatened to take this tenant to court, but unlike him, she made his identity public via social media.

I believe that is breaking some rules for someone in her position being that she is on the board of directors of LMSH. And that is why I think she needs to be replaced, and why all tenants of LMSH should be concerned of her immature behavior online. Tenants shouldn’t fear legal action or the security of having a home for expressing themselves on social media. Especially if it remains respectful by keeping her name anonymous.

That kind of goes against what LMSH is about. Providing homes to the homeless, and those in poverty that need affordable housing. Her behavior is bad for thier business.

Not only did she abuse her power, but while claiming to be a victim of online trolls and social media harassment, what I witnessed was no better. She spent a lot of time trying to convince me that he is this horrible person, without him knowing because she has him blocked. And another woman joined in to slander this man. It’s amazing how quick people are to jump in when it comes to verbally trashing someone. But to defend someone? Yeah, I was on my own. That was disturbing. People are cowards. However, one woman admitted to trying to defend this tenant in the past with little to no luck. I admire her efforts. I on the other hand, dont give up as easily.

Anyways, after I told these women that after witnessing thier behavior, talking trash about this man behind his back, I said that that says more about them than it does about him…and then this woman from the board of directors said her mind was made up, and she blocked me.

So, she plans to go ahead with legal action against this tenant for tweeting an indirect tweet.

According to the Ontario Tenant Protection Act, a tenant has right to privacy (she broke that by mentioning his Twitter Handle publicly). AND a tenants rights include being free from harassment and discrimination from the landlord. By mentioning his identity, and turning this into a big ordeal is harassment. She could have ignored it and kept on scrolling. She could have kept it off social media and spoke to him at the office. So, that was extemely unprofessional. What I experienced from this other woman and this one from the board of directors, speaking of the tenant negatively without him knowing to someone else is slanderous.

So this woman from the board of directors of LMSH may be playing victim, but the real victim is the tenant. And someone needs to say something, not let this shit slide!

That woman has no right to be on the board of directors of LMSH. Find someone that wont take social media so personally, or wont react so immaturally to posts with no specifications. Find someone that can handle the job emotionally. Someone more understanding, and with more recent lived experience. Not as a child. Times have changed.

Of coarse tenants living in poverty are going to be frustrated and vent. That’s to be expected. It’s how you handle it that matters, and she handled it rather poorly. Seriously, find someone more responsible.

If you want my opinion about the tenant. He’s a good guy, just trying to do good things within the community. However, discrimination, tends to be one of his barriers. The board may not be fond of him for being very opinionated. But at least he’s involved and engaging. I think he’s a pretty solid guy. Kinda silly too. If anything, LMSH is lucky to have him.

Sincerely,

A concerned citizen.

Pooks

Break the Chain

Hi again,

My heart is breaking right now, because I am about to do something no mother would imagine themselves doing…

But after reading the court documents, and reading my sons wishes….I realize I have no other choice but to let him go.

He no longer wants to be in the centre of his father and I’s conflicts. I can’t blame him. But I don’t really have any control over his fathers behavior either, and he’s been slandering me since he was 29 years old. As long as I’ve known him. He won’t stop. Every time he doesn’t get his way, or I set a boundary between us, he harasses me with verbal abuse. As for myself, I just wanted the truth to be seen for what it is. That cost me big time. My son stopped visiting.

Of coarse from a childs perspective, they don’t want thier parents to fight. Mom will always be mom. Dad will always be dad. Both are loved. I can see how it would look like a competition for affection. But there is so much more going on than he realizes. This has been going on for a very very very long time. And every time I try to move on with my life, my eldest childrens father will make it difficult. For example, telling the kids that step father’s are pedophiles. Obviously whomever I date will not take that too lightly.

Court is on May 10th, and I have decided to let my son go. He can be a crown ward if that is what he wishes. It might even be the only way I can protect him and his mental health from all this.

And just the fact that it has come down to me having to make this sacrifice based on my exes repeated behavior, the ex better keep his distance. I’m not too happy with him, and I know he’s never going to change. We’re not friends.

According to CAS at the meeting yesterday, his visits aren’t on hold. They are waiting for him to arrange a visit with his daughter. So yeah, call CAS. Stop coming to me. It’s obvious you don’t come here to see her. When you do actually want to see her, and spend time with her, set something up through CAS.

Seriously, I have had it with his shit. But that’s my life. Either way, I got to find a way to deal with it, and for now…I need space. I’m in no mood for his wishy washy behavior. Mean one moment, nice the next. Over and over and over…

At least I have 3 of my children in my home. Soon I’ll have custody of my eldest daughter.

Maybe one day I’ll see my son again. I hope one day he’ll understand me better.

I love you Anakin, and because I love you, I’ll set you free.

Peace and love – Pooks

Texts from Eric Part. 2

Hi again.

So that last blog post has been emailed to our CAS worker. Why bother with warnings? I’ve been through this shit before and yeah…the best thing I can do is bring his actions to light and let as many people aware of the situation.

Ya know? Let’s see what CAS suggest as a call to action. How would they handle this?

It just upsets me. Why? Because I have been nothing but a friend to him and like always, I get shit on. I feed the guy. Offer him a place to sleep on weekends. I gave him smokes. I gave gave gave!! But he still stole from me, a single mother on welfare. AND he turns around and calls me a pedophile and mocks my current knee injury with that whole “pegged leg” shit! Who does that?? That’s like mocking the disabled, you gotta be pretty damn cold hearted to do that! If the word narcissist had images in the dictionary, you’d see his face.

Sorry I smashed my laptop, and now you can’t binge watch InfoWars. Whoops! I really don’t care. It was my laptop to smash. The fact he cares more about me smashing it, than asking about his own daughter?? He’s got some serious issues, and it’s best he keeps his distance. Wither or not its almost our daughters birthday. If he wants to give her something, GO THROUGH CAS. No more using me to try to cut corners. As far as I’m concerned, the point has been made loud and clear, a friendship is not even possible because he doesn’t even know what that is. He burned his own bridge. Go through CAS now because I’m done. I’m not putting up with this. I don’t deserve it.

And I LOOOOVE how he’s trying to twist shit around and say its my mental health thats the issue. LMAO He’s never taking responsibility, always pointing the finger at everyone else. It’s everyone elses fault his life is the way it is. No. It’s his. He chooses his environment. He chooses the type of people he hangs out with. He chooses not to clean his home, or take care of himself. (It’s like mentally, he’s a child looking for a mother. He wants someone else to take care of him). He chooses to not contact CAS to get his access off being put on hold. His life right now is the result of HIS OWN CHOICES!! He doesnt get it. He refuses to even acknowledge that. The kids were apprehended because of his poor choices. Not taking the kids to school. Not feeding them or taking care of thier hygene. Even his daughter said, he just slept all day. THAT WAS HIS CHOICE!!

Oh right, taking the kids (years ago) in the first place was supposed to be a power trip towards me. Perhaps by taking them, I was supposed to go running back into his arms. No. It may have taken much longer, but I was going to get my children back without taking back the father. So that plan failed…and he had a big responsibility on his hands. One I knew would fall through in time. I knew the truth would be victorious eventually.

I guess I tend to forget who the original obsessed troll is. Sure there’s the one on Twitter, but she’s harmless. Annoying maybe, but harmless. Eric however, he’s already assaulted me in the past, and he is capable of repeating it. He seems to have a history of assaulting women…

So yeah, best to have a safety net in place. Because in reality, I’m not the one here that needs to check on my mental health. Not in this case.

Thanks for reading,

Peace and love – Pooks

Texts from Eric

Figures. Every time I set a boundary, out comes the douche with his abusive behavior of harassment and slander.

There’s a reason why I keep my life public.

And seriously, I don’t know who the hell this “Lucky” person is. Erics world and mine are two very different places. I don’t surround myself with addicts, criminals, hookers, and drug dealers. That seems to be a lifestyle he won’t let go. Not even for his own kids sake.

But yeah, now my ex is accusing me of being a pedophile, because I won’t let him continue to steal from my home. He’s an immature big baby. Seriously, he’s 41, and he acts like this. It’s disgusting.

God!!! Everyone is a pedophile in his mind. Perhaps he should get some professional help for unresolved issues regarding his past as a diddled child!!!

But yeah, I don’t have to put up with his bullshit. So here it is! Right in the limelight for ALL to see. This is the shit I put up with from psychotic ex-boyfriends!

Keep it up and I’ll get a restraining order to stay away from me, my children (including your daughter) and my home. Do NOT piss me off.

Peace and Love – Pooks

Shine on!

Hi again!

I got until 5pm to write, then I got tto go pick up my toddler from Merrymount. She had an overnight visit with her father this weekend.

Anyways, things took a strange shift this week…and I went from feeling really dark, to feeling more enlightened.

On Monday, that was the day my CAS worker came by and the Band Rep. Right now, the Band Rep is a covering worker until they find a replacement. But yeah, that meeting went well. Well as in the file for my baby will be closed. So the weekly visits will be coming to an end. And it will just be monthly visits to check in on my eldest daughter, since that file is opened under her father. But yeah, since my baby is doing well…smiles, giggles, rolling around, and is healthy. He’s doing very well. The file is being closed.

This week, late at night while the children are sleeping, I’d be busting my ass off to paint. I was determined to have 10 6Γ—6″ paintings completed for the Fringe Gallery’s Miniature Art Exhibit. Submission Forms are to be in by May 1st. The art has to be in by May 12th. And the exhibition will run from June 1st – July 7th. I just finished putting labels on the back of my paintings. And yes, I managed to paint 10. All that is left for me to do is drop off my art at the gallery and pay the submission fee.

I’m just proud that I got it all done within a time limit. Sure I lost some sleep. But the art I created? Yeah, I am pretty proud of myself. Those that follow my Instagram have seen the paintings, because I’d post them up on there once completed. Kind of how I reward myself; TADA!! LOOK WHAT I MADE! Gotta share it with the world!! πŸ˜ƒ Lol

Anyways, in other news, I did let my eldest father back in my home for a couple days…shouldn’t have done that. I mean it’s nice that he see’s my home as a safe place. But to steal from me again??? He didn’t learn from last time?? A single mom on financial assistance can’t afford that. To have things keep going missing. And yeah, it just confirms, he’s no friend at all. I mean, this time around he was acting like he was on drugs or something. He asked if I needed anything at the store, so I suggested we all go, that seemed to be pretty disappointing to him.

And his speed walking when hes normally tired as fuck. Where did this sudden energy come from? Yeah, I’m not walking very fast these days with a swollen knee. But he was walking with my stroller almost a block ahead, while my eldest daughter stayed behind and walked with me. So he’s gone way ahead with 2 children that arent even his!!

Which brings me onto another point. He says he wants to visit my eldest daughter, but while he’s over he yells and nags at her, and spends time with my younger children instead. Why? Thier not his. And why is he treating his own daughter like crap??

I mean, he was bitching at her to open my front door, meanwhile I’m the one with the keys. And she’s just doing what she normally does, she goes and opens, and holds the screen door. So yeah, that was uncalled for. I swear, him, and my ex-partner just look for tiny stupid reasons to nag at my eldest daughter over. It’s abuse.

So yeah, I told my daughter that her father wont be visiting anymore. She said shes fine with that. And I deleted his number from my phone. If I get sick or something, I’ll figure something else out. I won’t be calling or texting him for help.

I’m sending appologies to his mother because just before he stole from me again, she thanked me for giving him a safe haven. But yeah, he fucked that up. You don’t bite the hand that feeds.

It’s funny, because I can recall a time years ago when he called his half-brother a goof for targeting single moms to steal from. That’s not okay, but it’s okay to steal from this single mom? I don’t see the difference. Goof.

Anyways, whatever. He mentioned that things in his life were going downhill, and his attitude showed it. You know? Put down the shovel and start climbing. Stop expecting life to give you everything, and take responsibility and charge of your life.

The sad thing is…even his own mother doesn’t think he’ll ever change. I tried to offer my friendship, and a chance to co-parent as friends but… you see how that ended up. Very disappointing.

Whatever. He needs to work on him. I need to work on me. I can’t afford to have someone stealing from me when I’m trying to build a life back up for my children and I. So yeah, no more.

I mean, usually when I need help with the kids for court, or health purposes, the people I know either back out, or are too busy. I get it, they got jobs and shit. So, if I do happen to find myself in need of someone to look after my kids while I take care of whatever issue, I think next time I’ll just call Merrymount. That’s what they’re there for, right?

In other news…my eldest son actually called my cell! Yaaaay!! Well, actually it was his foster mother, and it was to talk to my eldest daughter. BUT he hasn’t done that for awhile…He’s been afraid to talk to me. Like I’ll be mad. I’m not angry with him. I’m angry at a manipulative system that separates a 12 year old from his family. Convincing him there’s a risk, but saying to me that I’m not a risk. 2 faced shit. Whatever Vanier and CAS are and were saying to him, is not the same as they say to me. I know that. Their goal was to make my son a crown ward from the start. And I admit, I almost gave up. After going to Vanier numerous times and being turned away…that hurt alot.

But I’m not going to dwell on the past or hold a grudge on my son. He’s my son. Move on, ya know? Move forward. So he might not be interested in his own culture yet. One day he will be. Every one goes soul searching at one point or another. Trying to find out who they really are. That’s inevitable.

But yeah, the fact he got his foster mom to call my cellphone, I see that as a positive. That took courage. And it’s a step forward. It maybe a small little step. But it’s a step. Thanks for calling.

Anyways, I got to start getting ready. I got to pick up my youngest daughter from Merrymount. I hope she had a good weekend. She normally comes back very happy, and tired. Lol

It’s been a nice quiet weekend, and I appreciated every moment. But yeah, back to the lovable chaos that toddlers bring. Lol My home is going to get loud again.

Thanks for reading. Peace and love – Pooks

” Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

– Maya Angelou