Final Notice

I don’t think people are taking me seriously when I  say I need your donations to keep this going. I mean my internet is on the brink of being disconnected.  

I thought I  had loyal readers, that would understand. But I  guess not. 

We don’t get baby bonus, therefore our family struggles like fuck because it’s all on my man’s shoulders. I  am trying to help him by turning this passion of writing into a job. But I need my readers to donate, not just sit there like retards pressing the like button. 

Yes, I  am disappointed in you! You, the one reading this. The nosey fuck that has been following my journey, but when it comes down to times where I need your help to keep this going, you can’t donate a dime!! Youre nowhere to be fuckin seen. 

That just shows me how much you value me and my work. You don’t.Just like everyone else in this twisted society, you think the only job I should have is voluntarily.  A job where I don’t get any income. Why? What makes you more special than I? 

  We’re not going to be getting baby bonus until I start paying my student loan of $7000 off. I don’t have a job. I was hoping to turn this into it. With baby bonus I would cover hydro and Internet.  Well, now those bills are piling. AND I  can’t put any money into my account without it disappearing towards N.S.F fees. Which is now over $200. 

I already mentioned that my partner and I  combined are $10,200 in debt. But since his debt to E.I doesn’t qualify for any financial aid from any debt consultant …we’re under the amount eligible to get assistance.  

Do you have any idea how stressful and frustrating this is not being able to help my partner with this?? Even though I  am trying my damn best, society just keeps slamming the door in my face.  

I  need your help!! 

If I could access the Internet on my lap top, I would be able to make it super simple for you by adding my donate button to this blog post so that it’s right in front of your stupid face. But the Internet won’t connect through my lap top, only my mobile phone. So you will just have to make an effort to find my PayPal Donate button on my WordPress site. Sorry for you lazy people that prefer everything be served to you.

I know.  Why would you want to donate after I have been so rude to you? Well I  am stressed. I am frustrated. I am disappointed in the regulars that snoop on my blog posts and can’t even donate. If you were in my position, you would be pissed as well. And Your faith in humanity will take a serious nose dive. 

If you actually give a fuck.  Please donate. 

The Debt

NSLC- $7000

Money Mart – $1500

E.I- $1700

Our Bills

N.S.F fees-  $285.66

Wyse  (water) – $500.00

Hydro- $391.o3

Internet- $58.82

Rent- $1300

It drives me nuts that my partner has control of all the finances right now. So I don’t know exactly where all the money is going. He said he was buying tools off his boss, investing in the future. But yeah, it sucks not being able to stick to my end of the deal. I’m to pay for the hydro and Internet.  

I know some smart asses will say “then get a job!” I have an 11 month old to take care of, and we certainly can’t afford a babysitter or daycare at this point. So any job that I could possibly do, has to be from home! 

Excuse me for thinking I could turn a passion into employment.  That was stupid of me. Stupid native. What the fuck were you thinking? Right? 

Whatever. It feels hopeless. If you help you help.  If you don’t, I  quit blogging and make that transition from blogger to author.  No more free for alls. 

Fuck I hate people. 

– Pooks

Notice to Readers


⚠⚠⚠Want to keep Pooks82 #blogging ? It’s simple. Find the PayPal Donate button on her WordPress site & leave a donation!

I won’t post a thing in the mean time. It’s not like before, where I just had myself to fend for. I have dependants in my care now.

If it comes down to it, and no one donates. I have no issue shutting this all down. You can pay for  my work in book format instead, and it won’t be as easy and fast to access as a blog.

Peace and love! – Pooks

The Stress

Debt. Money. Slavery

Those words seem to be in my head lately. 

My partner and I jotted down how much debt we owe combined, and it comes to $10,200. 

It does suck that I cannot help him with this burden.  I  tried Scentsy, but no one would buy the freakin shit. I tried surveying, but I need 1000 points just to make $10. I’m not even close. 

So I  try to sell some art. Only sold 2 pieces lately and made $175. It went to bills, and baby needs. 

Slavery. I  should take it as a compliment that no one in this city hires me. It means I am unfit to be a slave like everyone else. But when I try to be this “slave”, I’m given a false illusion that I am, yet no one takes interest in whatever I may be selling. So that door eventually closes. 

I try to think of creative ways to make an income, I add a donate button to this blog, but that just gets ignored. I put together another book, and that isn’t even taking off. 

So it gets frustrating. Ya know? People might as well be saying that my work or anything I do is worthless. At least that’s how it starts to feel like after awhile. 

According to the CRA, we won’t be receiving any of the baby bonus until I can start paying off my student loan. I already mentioned how much we struggle without the baby bonus. So yeah. How is am I supposed to pay that without a job? I am running out of ideas. 

That part of life, the debt, it’s eating away at my mind. However, I am grateful that it is not something my partner and fight over. Seen enough of that growing up. 

Money is a stupid illusion to stress over anyways. Why we let a small number of people control it beats me! What makes them so special? Because they are the “hierarchy “, the burgousie? If they really want to separate themselves from everyone else, then let them. YOU ARE NOT ONE OF US! So why should we follow? Or abide by thier rules? Thier just people. Fertilizer for the earth like everyone else. Yet we slave away for them, even though we have never met these people, nor ever will. 

But whatever, don’t listen to me, I’m just a commoner losing her bloody mind about money and debt. Something imaginary that only the Royal Bank controls.They can magically turn thin air into millions.  That’s all it really is…thin air. The physical substance of money isn’t enough for the billions of people. So there will always be the poor, the suffering…while these wealthy shits make however much money they desire out of thin air!! How convenient! 

I hate money.  I hate that I  have to stress over it, and worry for my families well-being  because of it .  Money is a disease that I despise. 

But until we tell the Capitalists to go fuck themselves, we are stuck in this shitty mess of a system where majority suffer, and few benefit.  That’s not going to happen because everyone is too chicken shit. Let the media strike fear into your minds. It’s only controlled by THEM. 

But whatever, I’m  a ranting mom. Maybe I just have P.M.S. 

But for some fucked up reason, we follow this stupid system created by an old white MAN!! It’s  2017 for crying out loud, don’t you think it’s time for these old farts to be thrown off thier high horses? 

Who gives a shit about blood lines, family lineage, or whatever the fuck. People are people. Blood is blood. You and I are no different in my book. 

Debt, money, in the end it only benefits them.  

So yeah, feeling the pressure. Feeling the stress and anxiety that is caused by this nonsense. You can say I’m mentally ill, but then you would have to say everyone is. At least the majority of the people feel this stressful pressure.

Will the people ever stray from this shit? Will we look towards renewable energy, and move away from gas and oil?

Some will. Some have already started. Hence why you hear about the government taking homes away from people living off grid. More need to follow suit, because there is more of us, then there is of them. 

Thanks for reading my stressful rant. I needed to vent. 

This money shit is fuckin bullshit. Ya know? Just wondering what the hell am I going to do. What can I  create or try next? 

My 8 year old daughter is more successful than I am when it comes to employment in this city. She’ll make from $30 – $90 / month. Even though I  usually am the one doing majority of the work for her. At least she’s off to a good start. Something I didn’t have up north.

Thinking about it, if I sell paintings for $125 each, I would have to make and sell about 57 paintings just to cover my student loan. If only it were that easy. Not all paintings are gaurunteed to sell. I mean, I tried to sell old ones, and only 1 sold. Not to mention how much time it takes me to finish one. I wish I could be like some artists out there and just whip something up in one day. But my work isn’t like that. 

Maybe I  should go on a blogging strike. If you want me back…leave a donation. Until then, I’m out of here and going to try to figure something out so my partner doesn’t have all this weight on his shoulders.

Time to stop taking my work for granted. I  got bills and debts to pay, and a family to feed too. 

It is March now. My baby turns 1, and next month I go to court. Will Pooks get her son back???….

Ooh… what a way to get left hanging. 

Peace and Love – Pooks 

  The illusion is reality. The only contradiction is the observer. 

– Lionel Suggs

Second Book Published!

Good news! I  got my second book published!

This one is different than my first. It is a photography book. A large collection of photos that I  have taken here in London, Ontario over the years. 

After hours and hours of editing it, I finally got it done! Yaaay!

I know you may think $115 is pricey, but here’s the thing: I will only get $23 off each sale, Lulu gets the rest for printing and publishing. It makes sense when you think about it. 

Anyways, if you do purchase my new book (My Gift to London, ON), not only are you freakin awesome, but you are supporting an artist.  Local or not. 

Anyways, I  hope everyone likes the finished product.  I  lost some sleep over this project, but I think it was totally worth the time and effort. 

“My Gift to London, ON ” by Pooks is available online on Lulu’s website. Along with my first book that is still available for grabs “Random Thoughts of an Alien Goddess”. 

Enjoy, and thanks so much for your support! Peace and love! – Pooks

“When the awareness of what is achievable brushes your life, your journey has begun.”- Lorii Myers

5th Anniversary! 

Hi again!

Since today is my 5 year anniversary as a WordPress blogger, let’s blog! Haha!

Anyways, quite a bit has happened in a week. Such as my partners family members coming down to visit us on Saturday. They brought gifts for Christmas, Valentine’s and Easter. Lol That was nice. Miigwech! They came to pick up the last 2 puppies. One of them remains in the family. The pure white one. My eldest daughter called her Snowflake, but her name might be changed to Beanie now.

Anyways, thier visit was short. They stayed for an hour or so, then went to go visit my partners sister and her family.

I was surprised that my partners mom asked me about Scentsy, but yeah…My personal Scentsy site is down, and I’m not going to cough up more money to keep it running. Like I  said, I  spent more money on Scentsy stuff, than I actually earned. So yeah. No point on going broke for a job that doesn’t really gauruntee an income. So I am no longer a Scentsy Consultant . At least I tried. I can now be set free to do whatever my creative heart and mind desires.

Lately I’ve  been working on my photography book and believe me, it’s not as easy as it sounds. It’s  taking a lot of work and effort. But I’m sure when it’s complete, it will have been worth the time.

My daughter started her first job last week. I  walked her paper route with her, and guided her along. She did so well.

Soon we will have to do that again, because  there has been more fliers delivered on our front step. So yeah, my eldest daughter will be downstairs sorting those out tonight, and getting them ready to hand out tomorrow.  

I  opened a bank account for both my daughter’s last week at TD Bank.  I  was surprised how quick that was, I  was expecting it to take much longer. 

I didn’t make it down to the New School  of  Colour  last week, we had a CAS visit scheduled, but then I  got a call that she cancelled the visit. But yeah, we might make it back this week.

My visit with my son was good. However he seemed a bit distant this time around…it took a while for him to be open. It was like he wasn’t in the best of moods at first.  I don’t know.  I  told him I was invited to the next progress meeting in March, and his response was; ” Whatever, those workers are stupid.” 

I’m not sure what’s going on, but his court date is coming up in April. So I  told him he won’t be staying there much longer. He thinks he’s  just going to another foster home. It’s  hard to say for sure with the 4 options available for the judge. But yeah, I can only hope for the best.  

What else? I am worried about my partner. He is working in a lot of pain lately. He says his shoulder, and neck constantly hurt.  I think it might be because of an old injury.  He did say he broke his collar bone years ago. Maybe all this heavy lifting shifted something. Which is another thing… His boss pushes him too hard. He is being over worked. For a while there he was doing 3 separate job positions, and now he’s down to 2. Still, he only gets paid for one, and technically a Site Supervisor should be getting paid more than a laborer , but my partner gets paid what a laborer gets even though his job title is a Site Supervisor. Not only should he be getting paid the proper amount that a Site Supervisor gets, but any labor work he does should be extra income . But that’s besides the point. It’s obvious that his boss takes advantage of him. That money goes to the bosses trips to Ireland and Florida. EEERRR!! Moving on! To continue to make a worker work like he’s  some kind of Incredible Hulk when injured is absolute madness! I  keep telling my partner that he needs to see a doctor, but he doesn’t.  Ya know? I just don’t want the same to happen to him as what happened to a friend. He got injured at work, didn’t get it taken care of right away. Waited a year…and now he’s  in pain every single day. Anyways…yeah. I  hope he sees a doctor soon. I  worry. 

I got a call from my exes mother, and she does think there is some kind of mental condition that runs in her family. She said one of her grand daughters have ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). I never heard of that before. But she said my sons tantrums (when he attended school) sounded similar to her other grand child. Problems with authority. Temperamental..So yeah, maybe it’s not schizophrenia.  Maybe it could be something else… 

My partner made a joke saying that that sounds like me. There’s a difference.  I choose to be defiant and rebellious.  As an artist, I  believe that is a part of my duty. I am to show the world things that they are trained to ignore through my art and my writing. Wither it be what I  see, or through personal experience. I am to create and share as much as I possibly can. 

Anyways, that new bit of family information may come in handy in the future.  We shall see. 

For Family Day, we went out on Sunday to go bowling at Bowlerama Royale.  It was hosted by Lisa from N’Amerind. So I  would like to thank them for hosting the event, and providing all the families (registered for the event or not) with breakfast. Thank you! My family had lots of fun. And my partner kicked my ass in both games…after I said that he and my eldest daughter were going down…Yeah,my ass got served. Lmao! 😂 In one game he beat me by 14 points, in the other, just by 2. I WAS SOOOO CLOSE!!! Lol

After we went to a local coffee shop, Locomotive Espresso.  That’s a cute little place. My eldest daughter loved how they created art on her beverage.  There was a heart within the frothy foam of her hot chocolate.  

From there we decided to go for a nature walk to  enjoy the weather. Ya know? It’s  February, but it feels like spring. There was a lot of people on the trails that day. Looks like they had the same idea! 🖒

My baby has been making amazing progress. Matter of fact when we went to Vanier to visit my son, a worker at Vanier said that he thinks my baby daughter may be advanced for her age, just like my son. Right on. She’s starting to take more steps, and she is starting to climb on EVERYTHING! Maybe she will be her Daddy’s rock climbing side kick one day. Lol She keeps me on my toes. Hence, why I blog when she’s asleep.

It’s my 5 year anniversary with WordPress.  It’s amazing how much time flies…and so much has changed…It’s been quite the journey to say the least.  It’s not over yet though. 😉 

Anyways, if you liked what you read here today, please leave a donation.  Keep me doing what I  do best!  Peace and love – Pooks 

Valentines Day

Happy Valentines day to all muh readers!

I was surprised this morning with a stuffy, chocolate, and a planter with actual tulips starting to bud. So thanks to my babe for that! I  wasn’t expecting anything, mainly for 2 reasons. One, we talked and he said he’d rather focus on celebrating Family Day over Valentines Day. Two, is because women have spoiled Valentines Day for him in the past by cheating on him. So I understand if he doesn’t want to celebrate.  But he did…❤

It kind of makes me feel bad though. Because I don’t have anything for him in return.  Just my gratitude.  However, my daughter suggested that we make him something. That’s a good idea! I  was going to say when my eldest daughter is out of school, but she has her visit with her father and brother this evening.  That’s  okay. I  can make something on my spare time today, when my baby goes for a nap. 

Anyways, it’s been a good start of  the day. I hope you all enjoy your Valentines Day.

Thank for reading! Peace and love- Pooks

p.s Don’t forget to donate if you can! Even a little can go a long ways. Thanks in advance!

“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.” 

– Lao Tzu

Do what you Love

Hi again, 

First off, I will inform you that I  finally got a “donate” button placed on my blogs side bar. That is visible on a computer, on a mobile device…you might have to scroll down to find it. 

If you like what you read here, if you enjoyed my post, feel free to donate to keep it going. Donations will cover the Internet bill. Plus it would be nice to be paid for what I love to do, and that is share my life story with you. 

The whole reason I moved my blog from Pooks Online Blog, to Pooks82 The Vault was so that I could try to make an income off what I do. It took me ages to figure out, but I  did it! To your left, if you’re on a computer, is my donate button! Yaaay! 

Moving on… Lol 

I am very tired. But I  am still making an effort to post something. 

Things have been tough without receiving the baby bonus for awhile. Since I got custody of my eldest daughter, we stopped receiving it…just to find out that they needed my partner to change his marital status. Getting him to do things sometimes is like pulling teeth. So I filled out the form, and all he had to was sign it. Anyways, I  mailed that off Friday, so maybe in a month we’ll start getting baby bonus again. Until then, we gotta find other ways to make up for the loose ends, financially speaking. 

Ummm…I did go to the New School of Colour with my daughters.  It didn’t go as I imagined it would. My eldest daughter was moody and rude to the facilitator.  He told her that with an attitude like that, she’s not going to enjoy the evening. And she didn’t.  That was embarrassing, especially since it’s because of the New School of Colour and The Ark Aid Street Mission that I am known as Pooks to begin with. I apologized on her behalf afterwards. But yeah, a negative attitude just spoils things period. That, and a teething, screaming baby. So needless to say that I didn’t really enjoy myself this time around. And maybe I am better off doing art at home while my eldest daughter is at school, and my baby is napping. I honestly thought my eldest daughter would enjoy going and creating art, but I  guess she just wants to be at home watching Youtubers play video games, or play with her friends.  She was tired, and cranky. And I  do apologize to the New School of Colour and The Ark for her behavior.  If she was rude, I’m sorry. 

Most of time she isn’t like that. She is a delightful funny child. However, we still have to teach her how to behave in public, and my partner has been trying to teach her some responsibility, such as cleaning up after herself.  So yeah, she’s still learning. 

However it was nice to run into the Executive Director of the Ark, his wife, and a regular volunteer at the Ark. They told me the New School of Colour got a grant, and are working on something about collaborating amateur artists with established artists. The Executive Director said he doesn’t quite know where I  fit. Established? Lol  I  don’t know. But thanks for the flattery. 

I saw my son on Friday, and he kicked my butt at both Chess and Checkers.  Lol Smart kid. I  even met one of his teachers at Vanier, and she said that he is getting better at reading. That makes me so happy, because now, the possibilities are endless. You know how to read, you can pick up a book and teach yourself anything.

Not at this visit, but the one prior. My son was saying that he wants his Indian Status. That way he can go to college or University.  This blew me away. Lol Completely different from the time just before he stopped visiting. He wanted to be like his Dad, and do nothing. But now look at him, he’s starting to have goals in life. Beginning to believe in himself. However, the teacher did say that he still does the whole “I can’t ” thing, but not as much. So his confidence and self esteem is improving. Thank you Vanier. Kinda got teary eyed there for a moment. But yeah, it’s a positive change that I  am so happy to see. 

That reminds me, I got invited to one of the progress  meetings with Vanier, my son, and CAS. It won’t be until March, but I  see it as a good sign that they want my involvement.  It’s another step closer in the right direction. 

Oh! My eldest daughter got a job! She starts on the 16th. She will be delivering papers for Starmail.  Another thing that will teach and encourage responsibility.  Plus she might gain a sense of accomplishment to be proud of from it. It makes me proud. I  know it’ll give her ahead start when it comes to jobs and whatnot. So yaaay and congrats to her! 

I  will have to open up a bank account for her so that she can get paid. 

As I said before, my baby is teething. I  get nipped at on a daily basis. I kinda feel like I  have a little piranha swimming around me at times. Haha! But yeah, overall, she seems to be handling it rather well. 

The puppies were sold. Thank god! We sold 2 here in London, and the other 2 were sold by my partners mother. So glad she helped out. The amount of drama I was going through over puppies here in London is ridiculous.  Some people thought they were being so righteous, thinking that by preventing people to buy the puppies would “save” them. That doesn’t make any fuckin sense. If you got a problem that the puppies were in my care, wouldn’t you encourage a sale and finding them a home, rather than trying to prevent that from fuckin  happening? Ugggh!!! STUPID!! Whatever, I  guess you can’t expect everyone to have a functioning brain. 

But yeah, so grateful that my partners mom jumped in. And I  am grateful 2 puppies are at thier new homes and are settling in nicely.  Thanks to the people who bought a puppy, despite the drama, and for loving their new puppy, and welcoming them into thier homes. The other 2 puppies will be picked up either next week or the week after by my partners mother, and she will get them to thier new owners in Oshawa

Anyways, got a crowd of kids here. Gotta go! Thanks for reading.  And to anyone that donates to my blog, Miigwech! 

Peace and love- Pooks